Lights Out

Jeddah

Thursday 2nd December.
"This track is gonna be so fucking cool to drive," I said to Max, who was cycling next to me.
"A lot of speed. I'm looking forward to it, you know?"
"This corner looks like it'll be dangerous if someone goes into the wall."
"Gonna really have to put our balls up on the dashboard," Max laughed. I looked down comically and wiggled on my bike seat slightly.
"Max. Max, my balls have gone missing. I've lost my balls. I've had an unwanted vasectomy!"
He started laughing, his bike veering sideways as he lost control momentarily. I stopped my panicking and took a deep breath.
"It's okay, Jessie. Just put your boobs up on the dashboard instead," I said to myself before pausing, my eyebrows furrowing in a frown.
"Wait," I said, "no. Don't do that either. You can't anyway, they're constricted by the seatbelts. Oh, woe is me. Hey! We don't even have dashboards!"
Max had to stop cycling for a second to carry on laughing.
"This is quality content. I just need like an office moment right now. I need a camera to look at tiredly or sassily. Wait, let me find-, oh wait, there's one on my bike. Shame they'll have to cut all this out... or will they."
"Jessie," Max wheezed. "Jessie, stop. We need to keep cycling."
"You're the one that stopped cycling in the first place!"
"Because you're being a dick and making me laugh too much!"
"Well then, don't laugh," I said, deadpan, getting back onto my bike and starting to cycle away. I heard Max cycling to come back next to me and soon enough he was by my side. 
"You're going to miss me next season."
"I am, yeah," he sighed.
"Don't worry," I said, holding back a laugh. "I'll break into your apartment when you're away and move things ever so slightly so when you come back you'll be like 'what the fuck'."
"Please don't."
"I will, just for you," I beamed. "Oh! Did I tell you I'm taking Harry for a hot lap around here? I'm filming it, don't worry, so you'll see it."
"I asked Kelly if I could do the same things but she said no," Max laughed.
"I wonder why! This is a wonderful team building exercise, by the way. What better thing to do than get Jessie and Max to cycle around the brand new high speed track. Wait! We should have a race! Yes. We're racing, The only time I won't get team orders."
"We can't race if you're making me laugh," Max protested, starting to giggle again.
"That sounds like a you problem," I said, scorn seasoning my tone.
"That's not fair!"
"Neither's team orders mate," I laughed, raising my eyebrows and momentarily looking his way before turning back. "Come on," I continued, "you won't get another chance to do this."
"Stop playing that card!"
"I'm just saying! You won't get much more Jessie Comedy, might as well make the most of it. Come on. I'm competitive, you're competitive. I'm a Red Bull driver, you're a Red Bull driver. I'm naturally talented at other things, you're not," I said cheekily, echoing Danny's words from years ago. Max smiled and shook his head.
"Fine," he said.
"Alright, on your marks... GO!" I pedalled away quickly, aiming to get a good start.
"OI! YOU CHEATER!"
"YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE!" I shouted back, continuing my desperate flight on the bicycle.
"Oh, and Jessie Osbourne is on a flyer! Purple sectors one and two. Is she going to do it? Is she going to stick it on pole? At this rate, Martin, I think she might be. Rival Max Verstappen is lagging behind, unable to keep up with this incredible pace. Yeah, Crofty, I think she's just found the extra power that she needed. She's infamously fast in the turns. Just look at that form! Perfect line through there, gets on the accelerator at just the right time with the right pressure so not to spin out. I think we've got a real winner here today, Crofty. Into the final few turns now, Martin. Mr Max Verstappen still not quite finding the pace, why do you think that is? Um, it might be down to a performance issue. Last weekend he wasn't quite on top of it, maybe he's suffering a bit because of the pressure he's under right now with the title fight. He's just not taking the same risks as Jessie Osbourne is. He just seems to be holding back that little bit, Crofty. Well, Martin, I don't expect Christian Horner will be too pleased about Verstappen's performance here today, but I'll tell you what he will be happy with, Jessie Osbourne. She crosses the line, purple all three sectors, she's on provisional pole, what a lap! Max Verstappen, dragging himself across the line, hasn't got the pace to take it from her! Jessie Osbourne takes pole for the race!"
"You sound like a mad person talking to yourself," max said, breathing heavily not unlike myself.
"I want Crofty's job now I'm leaving. Jeez, I need to pick up on cardio a bit more," I panted, putting my head down on the handle bars and ignoring the camera that was now incredibly close to my face.
"Ugh, so do I."