Late night thoughts

{Rant}

Hey, so today was terrible. More terrible than usual. Now I don't want people to feel sorry, maybe I do. In a way we all do. But however this is just a place for my thoughts.

Anyways I like this girl (🏳️‍🌈) but there is an issue. She has been leading me on to believe that she liked me, when I'm all reality it's not true. She likes some boy whom I've grown to despise. He's a man-whore. Sorry to put it that way but it's true. And she knows all he wants is to fuck around and have sex.

That hurts, she also says that she just isn't ready for a relationship. But says even if she does she's too scared to date another friend because of some bitch. First off, I'm not her. Second off, you said you liked me.

Then I told this boy I had a crush on him (I am pan) and he totally pretends to forget and avoids me. Ouch right? Well it's also because of his best friend whom doesn't like me because I have issues with her stupid friend.

So I was upset, then I get a message basically telling me to leave them the fuck alone. Triple ouch. So I cry for two classes straight. Then the boy looks over at me and has the nerve to look guilty.

During lunch he comes up to our table trying to smooth the surface. Then proceeds to come and sit by me. He tries to "cheer me up" because he doesn't know what happened.

Earlier that morning in 1st period I wrote him a short letter telling him how I feel. I'm too socially awkward to tell my feelings to someone. I have my friend give it to him. By lunch time he's read it, I assume. Because he hands it back and asks what it's about.

Well first off it clearly states what it's about. Second off are you stupid.?

Then I try to avoid him, doesn't work. So I just ignore him. I'm hurt, give me time. Both of them hurt me. Really bad.