"I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against discouragement all that could be." -Charles Dickens
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Hangover caused a massive headache as Park Chaeyoung strutted through the dorm. The cool marble making her feel unwelcome and sent chills down her body. The skimpy black number she adorned at the moment was no way meant to provide warmth.
Tossing the black heels after entering her room, fumbled to find the button of that closed the blinds. It was around three but she couldn't care less. Welcoming the dark that surrounded her now, she crashed on the bed, drawing up the blanket with leg with whatever strength she felt she had left in her. And then was knocked out.
This had become a routine. Go to the studio, work for 12 hours, go to a bar, flirt with some men giving them hope and watching their shameless lustful expression with disgust inside yet keeping a flirty smile for her own entertainment then swiftly returning home after hailing a cab with her car forgotten in the parking lot which her manager would pick up the next day.
This wasn't always her. In the past Chaeyoung might have looked down and scoffed at anyone acting like such a waste of space, but situation had changed. Feeling like she was occupying a stranger's body every waking moment didn't help her case either.
Heartbreak.
It was amazing. People seemed to always romantisize heartbreaks, saying it brings out the best from artists, that you come out a more stronger and better person seemed like a big fat bullshit. The ache was unparalleled, the pain was constant, everything around reminded you of that person, you ached for intimacy not just physical but emotional not in form of sex but maybe just a hug.
She was luckier in the latter part. Her members who had become her second family over the years made sure she never felt like she was alone. They would constantly do something to make sure that she was ok and cheer her up. But that somehow just made her feel worse. Made her feel like they were walking around on eggshells around her. All of them would often cancel plans with their own boyfriends just to watch over her. The thought of being misery and burden to them just haunted her.
How long until they get sick and give up on me?
She made a resolution that day while drinking.
This stops today. I owe my sisters that much.
The morning came soon. Chaeyoung got up and took an asprin with lot of water, headed to the bathroom to get cleaned up. Since her schedule was free today and the dorm seemed quite at the time, Chaeyoung headed to the kitchen after her shower to make breakfast for herself and her members.
She settled to wearing a big baby pink knit sweater which reached her knees. Pulling up the hair in a bun, she started to take out ingredients for making pancakes like Jennie often did for all of them. While the batter rested, she cut the fruits, prepared whipped cream and fished out the chocolate sauce out of the fridge. As she was setting up the coffee machine to start, she heard footsteps approaching.
