❉ Chapter 22 ❉

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Fear.

Such an unusual feeling with unusual causes. Other creatures, as well as humans, could decipher fear to be one of the main reasons there is never peace on planet earth.

To others, fear could be the pounding and hammering of a heart against one's chest, teeth rattling and eyes helplessly snapping from one corner to the other. It could be an imitative sensation: one that whoever feels it, a close partner must feel the same.

In a way, fear destroys a creature. It shrivels all sense of hope and positivity in the mentality of one, leaving only anger to burn in the deepest, darkest colour of their irises. By then, they feel nothing but the need for vengeance. They feel no pain, no delight or sadness. Their faded emotions are so powerful they cannot feel fear itself anymore.

Like I said, fear destroys a creature. Or maybe it doesn't just destroy it, but is capable of more. Perhaps it sabotages the creature's surroundings: all its relatives, close friends, family -

the entire world and beyond.

Fear itself is a terrifying thought. To say I've never been a victim of fear would make me a liar, a coward. Everyone has gone through the excruciating pain of thinking they would never see the light of happiness again, or feel the fast beats of their heart pump for love, and not anxiousness.

But I have gone through fear. Endless fear. Fear that I thought would never come to and end. And the only explanation I could ever offer you is that fear is fear. It is an enexplainable feeling, one that no poet or author could describe. Not in a thousand words, not in a million. But fear is being yanked and disembodied from myself before being thrust back under my skin. Pounding headaches that never cease and appear to travel down to my trembling hands and glacial feet. Fear is the sick feeling to your stomach that you cannot find a release for, and it happens to roll in the pits of your stomach for hours, days, weeks.

Fear was the worst thing I could ever come across.
And fear was the worst feeling I would ever come across.

At least I hoped so.

Fear was the feeling that wouldn't cease as I thought of Janette. I left for my room seconds after viewing the firm expression on Liam's face, and I decided I would wait for Janette, thinking she was in a different infirmary.

I could not sit still. I had food by my bed, and a book in my hand, but all I felt I was provided with was lost sense of hope, and worry that something - anything had happened to Janette.

In all honesty, I expected myself to be the first person she'd visit as soon as she was released from the infirmary. I expected three short knocks on the door - her signature knock to show it was her - and for her to bounce in, a smile smothered across her face like she'd just witnessed the most amusing thing ever.

I waited and I waited. And there was no knock. No familiar sounds. Just the crackling of the fire in the far end of my room.

As much as I adored the bright burgundy flames and the miniature balls of fire that the wood spat out every second of my presence, I felt it was teasing me some sort of way. And at that moment, I wished I could switch off the flames, give myself some fresh air, and to be greeted with a warm smile that belonged to Janette: the one person that had ever given me hope in the past year.

Silence was now a presence in the room I was used to. It dominated everything, even the fire itself, and as much as I sometimes appreciated the silence, I wanted a high pitched squeal and a giggle: one that belonged to Janette.

And still, I had none of that. Sighing in uttermost defeat, I lazily threw myself onto the bed, pointer finger tracing the outlines of my lips as I stared at the frayed, bent corners of my book.
Complete silence. Nothing could defeat the domination it held over everything.

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