Insane - DreamSMP AU

Book 1 - The Diary Part 2

Tommy woke up tired, he had managed to dream about Dream. Heh. He would laugh out loud if he had the energy to. 

He got off the bed slowly, carefully making his way to get breakfast. He pulled out the boxed cereal in a haze, his mind elsewhere. He only truly got back to himself after he was sitting down and eating his halfway finished cereal bowl.

He started thinking about his realization last night, and then immediately decided to get out of his head so he didn't have to think about it, always easier to ignore it. He tried looking around his kitchen for something to do.

There were a set of knives. He didn't know how to wield those properly, in combat or for cooking. More food? He was feeling full already. Should he talk to someone? He decided that was the way to go.

Who should he talk to then? There was Tubbo, but Tommy didn't want to bother him.Puffy was the obvious choice, and he did want to see her about this, but he felt like he should sort this out a little bit more first. It was at this point he realized that he was no longer thinking about distracting himself from the problem, and maybe that was for the best.

So he went back to his head and thought about Dream. Now that he had recognized him as a person, doors to introspection were opened, and that was exactly what he did. He thought about himself, and he thought about his actions, and then he thought about Dream's actions. After all that thinking he came to one conclusion, Dream wasn't justified, but it was understandable why he would take those actions in reaction to his own. He started to realize that he wasn't innocent in this.

When Tommy realized that Dream's actions were understandable, he didn't mean that he knew exactly why Dream had done them. All he knew was that each person has their own motivations and feelings, and he would have to read the rest of the books to understand Dream's. However, he started to feel like reading them was an invasion of privacy, something he would never feel before.

After sorting out his head as much as he could. He decided it was time to go to Puffy's, he grabbed the diary and headed off in the direction of her house, thinking about what to do.

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Puffy was slightly worried when Tommy came into her house with a pensive face. She was even more worried when he said that maybe they should release Dream. She kept her calm though, it was all she could do at this moment.

"I think that prison is a bit harsh for Dream. He has already been in there for over a year. Maybe he should get another chance."

"I'm glad you are able to think like that Tommy, but Dream is in prison for a reason, need I remind you how he manipulated you in exile?"

She had fully expected Tommy to go into a mild panic attack, but she needed to shock him back to reality. Dream was evil, there was nothing else to it. That's what she kept telling herself. She was happy Tommy could understand Dream, because that meant he could improve himself faster, but Dream needed to stay in prison. 

She was very surprised that Tommy only gave a slight shiver at her mention of exile before standing up for the monster again.

"He had a reason, even if he did those bad things, even if he manipulated me, I am sure he had a reason. At least, after reading this I am." He threw the diary on the table in between them. "He is a person, not just a monster."

Puffy was shocked. That one sentence, that one phrase penetrated though her wall that she had been carefully maintaining, the wall that kept out the guilt of abandoning someone, of betraying her own morals and looking at someone as less than others. So she cried, and she cried, but she didn't scream, she couldn't, she didn't want to let others know that she betrayed herself, and she didn't want more guilt to beset her from their inevitable gazes of disdain.

Tommy was equally as shocked as Puffy was. He hadn't expected Puffy to cry during this visit. However, he had experience with panic attacks, and Puffy had helped him before, so he would help her now.

Tommy walked over to Puffy and hugged her, whispering 'it's alright' and 'you're okay' into her ear while rubbing her back with one of his hands, the other holding the back of her head. It was a technique that Puffy used during their first few therapy sessions to get him out of his panic attacks, and it worked like a charm.

Puffy eventually calmed down enough to talk, and Tommy was there to listen and help.

"I betrayed him, I betrayed myself. I thought of him as less than a person. I promised myself I wouldn't ever do that."

"It's alright Puffy, you can be better, just a little mistake is all. Just like I have made... just like Dream." Tommy adopted the voice that Puffy used so often in their sessions, a low one that made you feel safe.

Puffy sat up with her head down. "I'm sorry Tommy, I didn't mean to."

"It's alright Puffy."

"No, I mean... I was trying to guide you to be a better person when I wasn't one myself,  I'm sorry."

"Puffy, you did help me become better. I confronted Dream, remember."

"Yeah. Thanks Tommy."

"No problem Puffy. You good to keep talking?"

"Yeah." Puffy wiped her eyes and looked straight at him, there was only a little difference from the beginning of the session, that being the red eyes.

"So, as I was saying, I think we should release Dream. Not completely let him free, just let him be outside and inside. I was thinking we could make it so that he doesn't leave the grounds of the buildings without someone with him and can't go into the nether."

"That sounds like a good idea Tommy, but how are you going to convince the others, there are a lot of people who hate Dream still?"

"I was thinking along the way here, and I came up with a plan."

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