Tommy arrived at his house. He had come straight home from Puffy's, eager to read the books.
He ran to his room and shut the door before grabbing the first book and jumping on his bed. He flipped to the first page - It said 'Diary'.
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Page 1 - I have decided to keep a diary to stave off the boredom of my imprisonment. I estimate it has been over two weeks since I have been in here, but it's hard to keep time without seeing the sky. The clock only helps so much when I don't pay attention to it. I suppose I can't write the dates to the entries. I will be writing my random thoughts in here on a new page every time I open up the book.
Page 2 - It has been a while since I started this diary, but I didn't really see a need to keep going unless I was bored, and luckily some people have kept me entertained with their visits. Namely Tommy, Bad, and Sapnap. It was mildly entertaining to watch them interact with me, but I haven't got the same joy since I threatened to kill Tubbo. I may have to do something drastic to see if it is gone or if it is only suppressed. I should probably hide this book, can't have them knowing what I'm trying to do. I'll keep a fake diary that they can check. Under the cauldron seems like a good place, Sam has been slightly lax on security lately. I might give him a scare for fun.
Page 3 - I killed Tommy yesterday. It didn't make me as joyful as I had hoped, it seems I'm slipping faster and faster. I will need to start taking precautions. I couldn't write with him in the same room, but that's alright. Sam came in and yelled at me, once I revive Tommy, those who are greedy will come for the book, I can only guess Quackity or possibly Purpled. I can't accurately predict without knowing the current circumstances. We will see.
Page 4 - Tommy is out, Sam saw to that a few hours ago. He's leaving me alone now. Lovely. I was thinking back on Tommy calling me a monster, I can understand being called an antagonist, but a monster... I'm not nearly there yet. If I could feel guilt I would probably feel really bad right now. Too bad, now that I think about it, it probably wasn't the best choice to go out with a bang and try to feel as joyous as possible. But I calculated correctly, and I'm sure of it. They will come out of this stronger than before. The caring part of me that barely managed to rekindle is finally being put to good use. It feels more comforting than joy, more fulfilling. Well, it'll leave soon too.
Page 5 - Looks like Quackity is the lucky winner of my second to last gift. I wonder what I should do. He is pretty close to edge of a small bit of madness, I'll push him over and pull him back. If I'm right, it should scare him away from the edge. That reminds me, my gift to Sam is also coming along well, it will take a while though, I could use Quackity to speed it up though. I'll have to plan it out.
Page 6 - Technoblade came a few hours ago, he's sleeping now. I know he has a way to get out, he always has a plan, especially when walking into an obvious trap. He probably came for information, I suppose I'll give it to him, I don't have much use for it anyway. It is going to be tiring to act for the foreseeable future, but at least I can gift him some of the knowledge I have.
Page 7 - Technoblade finally escaped. Took him long enough. Good thing too, it pushed Quackity and Sam over the edge, I can start puling them back now. I told Technoblade not to break me out or attack the prison, I used the favor to keep him from getting revenge. I think I will give Quackity a small shock to set him off.
Page 8 - Finally, I finished my gift to Quackity. He should now have a stronger moral limit, and be scared to break it. Sam as well, as soon as Quackity had a breakdown, Sam realized he had been no better and decided to start treating me better. It's great that my gifts have left a good impact on them.
Page 9 - With no gifts to give, I have become supremely bored. I should do something to occupy myself. I only have the books for entertainment. Maybe I should write about my experiences for people to see and glean some experience or information from after my death. Yeah, that sounds good. I'll do that.
Page 10 - Tommy is coming tomorrow, Sam told me it is for closure, maybe I can give him one last gift.
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If Tommy didn't think Dream was insane before, he definitely did now.
'How could Dream think he was helping us be stronger with what he did. He literally tortured me!'
Tommy was angry, he started cussing dream out in his head. 'You mother fucking manipulator bitch...' and so on. The session of cussing went on for quite a while until he realized that Dream thought he was justified in doing all those things under the reason of 'making them stronger' and thought of his actions as 'gifts'. Which prompted another session of 'cuss Dream out in your mind'.
After Tommy was completely wiped out from his invisible expression of anger, he started to think, something he had never done for too long before, and definitely not about Dream. He thought for around an hour, and the result of all his thinking was something that dumbfounded him, he started to emphasize with Dream. He was now beginning to understand 'Dream' and what his actions told about him. With empathy however, comes the inevitable realization that whoever or whatever you empathize with has traits that you can understand.
This realization hit Tommy after another hour of thinking. Which happened to be a new record for him. Unfortunately, the realization hit hard, and understanding hit harder. Tommy had always coped with his trauma by perceiving Dream as a monster with no morals, who did what he did for no reason, and this helped him immensely, it pushed all blame off of him and onto another. As a side effect of this method, however, it left no room for change in him. If he doesn't realize his errors, how is he to change them.
Unbeknownst to Tommy, he had discovered what Puffy had been carefully guiding him to realize, even though she hadn't fully realized it herself.
"ALRIGHT, enough thinking for today. I'm going TO SLEEP." Tommy promptly fell asleep, content with avoiding his moral dilemma until tomorrow.
YOU ARE READING
Insane - DreamSMP AU
Hayran KurguDream is in prison, and has been for the past 16 months. Tommy has nearly gotten over his trauma with the help of CaptainPuffy, and is about to head to the prison to see Dream for the last time and get over his fear. TW - Mentions of suicide (Not my...
