shapeshift

Chapter Twenty Two

**Spencer's POV**

I went ahead and got on the bus before the girls did. I knew they'd be wanting to talk, but I didn't want too. I wanted to lay down and go to bed, but I was wide awake. I looked out the lounge window and saw them coming. Morgan was walking behind them. The sight of him made me want to cry. I shut the curtain and sunk into the seat. Seconds later, the door to the bus opened up.

"Spence, you're up" Maddie says. I stayed quiet. She and Tae both came to sit with me. "Thought you might be asleep after what happened".

"I slept all day. I'm wide awake" I reply.

"You want some wine?" She asks.

"You know I don't drink" I say. She nods.

"Well, do you wanna talk about it?" Tae asks. "You can't keep it all inside". I sigh and put my head in my hands. I take a deep breath before looking back up with tears in the rims of my eyes. 

"If I talk about it, I might just die" I say.
Maddie pulled me into her. A few minutes later, after I'd cried for the 100th time, I sat back up.

"Spence, you wanna know something?" Tae asks. "I thought my world ended a few years ago when my boyfriend broke up with me, but I got through it. I got through it and I met Josh. He's the best thing that's ever happened happened me, and I wouldn't have found him unless I got my heart broken".

"What if Morgan is the best thing that's happend to me?" I ask. She chuckled.

"Well, he might be. That's for you guys to talk about and figure out. But, that's not the point I was trying to make" She says.

"What was?" I ask. She and Maddie both smiled.

"Actually, we say it best in our song" Maddie chimes in.

"We sure do" Tae adds. She smiled. "We'll go on and answer the question for you...you're not gonna Die from a Broken Heart". A smile appeared on my face. I took another deep breath.

"You know, I never thought he'd be a person I even liked. He was so rude, but I got to see what was underneath thst rough exterior. He let me in, and I fell for him right away. I swear to you guys the taste of raspberry still lingers on my lips because of him. I never thought he'd turn into someone that I-" I stopped and bit my bottom lip.

"Spence, we know you love him. I think we knew before you did" Maddie says. "And you know, I get it. I get what it's like to feel like just a fling. I've been with Jonah since we were kids, and I swear I loved him before I knew what love was. That broke us a little, but we made it through. If you love Morgan, and he loves you...there is not a doubt in my mind that you guys will work this out. Jonah and I were seventeen and thought all we were was some little fling until something better came along. Before I knew it, we were, as our song says, Trying on Rings. What's meant to be will be".

"How am I supposed to not feel like this? You say he loves me to, but why didn't he say that? Why didn't he tell me?" I ask.

"Why didn't you?" Tae asks. I didn't speak. Honestly, why hadn't I asked myself that question. "Look, Spence. We're not big fans of him right now either, but...you also didn't say you loved him".

"You've gotta talk to him. Not right this minute, but you've got to talk tk him when you're ready" Maddie adds.

"Well, right now I don't even want to see him, so I'm just gonna go lay down" I say.

I crawled in my bunk and laid down. I put in my air pods and kept listening to 'Somebody's Problem' on repeat. I thought about the first time I heard him sing it. Then when he said it was about me, and my heart burst with joy.. Then, I started thinking about  when he said it was nothing special, and my heart broke all over again. That's when i switched to listening to 'Die from a Broken Heart'. It made me feel better, but I wished I was wrapped in his arms right now instead of this blanket. I knew the girls were right, we did need to talk, but I couldn't even look at him right now. I needed time. I think I needed a lot of time. It took a lot of time for me to see who he was, now I think it's going to be just as hard to forgive him, and forget what he said.  Honestly, maybe harder. I took out my air pods and just listened to the traffic roll by. Then the girls started to talk again.

"He's broken. She's broken. He didn't even want to perform tonight. She didn't even come to the show. We've only been on this tour a little over a month" Maddie says.

"I know. They've got to talk" Tae replies. "I do think they're supposed to be together too".

"Yeah, but our manager didn't even come to our show? She doesn't want to see him at all".

"I know. Should we do something?" Tae asks.

"No. They have to work on it themselves. We can't push her, and we can't push him. We just have to supportive, and make sure she knows we're here. I know we love Morgan, but-".

"I know. We're Team Spencer" Tae finishes her sentence. I smiled at the fact that they had my back. Part of me kind of wishes they'd push me to talk to him, but I knew they were right. Morgan and I have to figure this out ourselves. No matter how hard it was to do.