shapeshift

Chapter Thirty Three

**Maddie's POV**

Spencer was being so stupid. One minute she's telling her mother how they're absolutely nothing alike and the next she's downing bottles of alcohol in her bunk. I didn't even feel bad for what I'd said, because I wasn't wrong. The only thing she didn't have to worry about was leaving a kid like her mom did. I didn't tell Tae because she'd be just as pissed as me, and I didn't tell Morgan because they'd just gotten back to being them again and I didn't want that to change. I didn't want to perform tonight, I just wanted to hole up in my bunk and shut it all out. I wasn't very good at hiding my emotions, and I never lied to Tae, but this was all so unnecessary. I just wanted to smack Spencer upside the head with the wine bottle.

"You're acting off tonight. What's wrong?" Tae asks. I shake my head.

"I...I don't know" I lie. I was trying to put in my monitors.

"Yes, you do. You and I have been together every single day for the last eleven years. You know I know you. What's going on?" She asks.

"Just...tired, I guess" I lie again. I start to walk away, but she stopped me. I sigh. "Go walk in our dressing room".

"What?" She asks.

"Just go walk in. Don't knock or anything. Spencer is in there" I say. She raises an eyebrow but starts that way.

**Spencer's POV**

Fuck the wine. I wanted something g hard. I found a bottle of bourbon from the storage lockers they keep here and taken it back to the dressing room along with a shot glass. The girls were on stage and I was three shots in, losing my balance and any respect I'd had for myself. I didn't even care at this point. I was in my own world, holding the bottle above my head, letting the liquor coat my throat, but then..the door burst open. Tae stood in the doorway. I spilled the bourbon all over myself trying to hide it, but it was too late.

"You're drinking?" She asks. She wasn't mean, she was quiet, and that scared me more. I just stared at her. Maddie appeared behind her.

"Fuck it, Spence. I'm not watching you do this to yourself" She says. She grabbed Tae's arm and tugged her away. I just looked down at the bottle in my hands. It was half empty already and I was completely fucked.

**Maddie's POV**

"She's fucking drinking? Why?" She asks. I throw my hands up.

"Probably because her mom? I don't know. T, she's got an empty bottle that she downed in the bus last night, on top of the glasses she had with us. She was passed out in her bunk this morning, and puking g because she's hung over and immediately started drinking again as soon as she got back in the dressing room" I tell her. She looked stunned. "I am sorry that I lied to you, but I thought me talking to her would help, but I was clearly wrong".

"I don't even care if you lied. I care about her turning into her mom" She says. I threw my hands up.

"I told her she was gonna be just like her and I think that pissed her off even more" I say.

"Does Morgan know?" She asks.

"No. I don't want him too. They just got good again, and I just feel like this would mess it all up. I hate to even say it, but both her parents were/are alcoholics...it's not too far fetched that she could be too".

"Damn" She says, shaking her head.

"Come on. We've got a show to do" I say. She nods as we take the stage. 45 minutes to let us forget the shit going on, but I don't think there was enough time in a day to get this off my mind. I hated it.

**
After our set, Tae and I piddled around backstage, so we didn't have to see Spencer. We loved her, but she was a mess right now and she knew we were both upset. Well, I think she did. I couldn't tell you what she knew or what she didn't at this point. We were hanging out by the tour bus entrance when Lottie walked up.

"Hey. What're you guys doing?" She asks.

"Just...hanging out" I lie.

"Have you guys seen Spence?" She asks. I text her to meet me, but she hasn't. Morgan said the door to the dressing room was locked too. I just checked the buses and she isn't there either" She says. Tae and I look at each other. "Girls, what is going on?".

"Spencer has been drinking" I admit. "And not just a glass here and there. She's drinking consistently, all day long. It started last night and she hasn't stopped".

"Oh, Jesus christ" Lottie says. We all take off running towards the dressing room. The door was still locked. "Spencer!". Lottie starts banging on the door. "Open the damn door!". Tae and I join in, beating the door trying to get her attention. No luck.

"Someome go get security!" I shriek. Tae nods and takes off. A few minutes later, after Lottie and I continuously knock, Tae returned with a key to unlock the door. She unlocks it and we all run in. Our hearts stopped. There was Spencer, passed out on the floor.