An Indie Musician's Diary Volume 4: Album two in the making

The Fear of Failure & How To Blow it Into Pieces

November 18th, 2021

The fear of failure is something we all face every single day. As indie musicians we have to fight this fear, too! We can be afraid of releasing our music for the fear that someone might find a pop or a glitch in our track. They might say that our chord progressions suck. They might even give us a bad review in a local newspaper.

We fear that no one is ever going to like, share or follow or social media posts unless they are top notch and timely. We fear being too young, too old or outdated...the list is long.

I have never released a perfect mix. I don't think they even exist, no matter how perfect you are as a mixer. After remixing my 2017 demo for years I finally decided that it was never going to be perfect and released it on 2020. Yes, there were some really bad mistakes on a few tracks but overall the response has been good. I had to face the fact that the learning curve for being a musician is long and I was just getting started. I got the album out there and then I "hugged" myself, thinking, "Even though I messed up I'm learning and it's o.k. not to be perfect when no one can be!" 

I had to face the fear of being on TV for the first time, a few weeks ago. I had slept poorly the whole week before, I couldn't get my last mix right - the mix that was going to be premiered on the show as my latest music video.  Also, my hairdresser couldn't fix my hair in time. When I got on stage, I felt ugly, unprepared and old. But I decided that all I could do was my best and told myself haters gonna hate no matter what and went in and did a good job of it - as good a job as I could. That is all any of us can ever do.

I decided to focus on giving my listeners a great story - telling about my childhood, how I was terrified of my abusive father and how Jesus helped my family. I got to share about what the first album was all about and sing for them. I have had people contact me and donate after the show. Face your fear! Get your focus off you and onto helping others is a great way to throw fear out the window.

BTW: I just looked and saw that my earnings on CDBaby after almost two years of releasing music added up to a measly $13! Mind you that that is after six years of learning and working on being a better mixer/artist/producer without any income. What a joke!

Oh, but a lovely elderly couple in their 80's just sent me 500 SEK in a donation. That is four times as much! They liked my TV program so much that they wanted to help support me. :-)

How we face our fear is essential. If we do it right the fears that pop up will be manageable.  Once you get it through your head that nothing really matters, you free yourself to do your best (for yourself) and make mistakes without judging yourself too harshly.

Funny is that the thing that helped me think this way was the Bible of all things....After reading Ecclesiastes, I started taking unserious criticism less seriously. That is, I started taking others' constructive criticism more seriously and I started ignoring all the mocking, foolish gibberish and under-the-belt comments that intermittently flew at me like projectiles from no matter who uttered them. It didn't matter if they were family, relatives, friends or foes. If it was constructive I took it into consideration and if it wasn't I let it go.

"Everything is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

The writer of Ecclesiastes, Solomon, was a wealthy king and very wise. Read the book and you'll see that he came to the conclusion that although everything is meaningless, it's fun to create and have a good time, with responsibility while living on this planet. That's about where I have landed in my view of this world and with music specifically.

I do music because it is fun and a challenge for myself. Although I hope that others will be blessed by it, I don't wait for them to like, follow, subscribe, donate, encourage me back...etc. in order for me to feel successful and happy. I just do it as well as I can - for me -  and move on....When I have this chill, non-expecting mindset, it is cool to get positive feedback, subscribers and donations etc. when they happen.

Much of not being fearful for criticism is freeing your mind from the reckless, mean, thoughtless criticism of the haters and choosing to humbly appreciate and apply things learned from the constructive criticism of those who really see your potential.

If you are doing music to please people then you are setting yourself up for discouragement. Try doing your best for yourself and the subscribers, donations and good reviews will follow you.

To blow fear into smithereens: 

1. Do your best - for you because you love yourself and believe in yourself

2. Remember - you are on a journey and you'll never be perfect and that's o.k.

3. Remind yourself that haters are gonna hate. Let them hate, but ignore them. Block them if they get outta hand.

4. Know the difference between constructive criticism and opinions. Keep the good and ignore the bad. Learn from others' wise and well meant words. Don't forget to thank them as they help you grow.

5. Be prepared as you an be for a concert/TVs show, etc. And accept that we all make mistakes and you are learning. Hug yourself!

6. Read the Bible and see how God sees you. He cares so much so He came here and died for you so you'll never have to question if you are loved or not. You don't have to prove anything to Him and He helps you sort out everything, even how to deal with fear as you walk this earth.

Until next time!

- Liz

https://linktr.ee/ekitzing

Next live concert is on December 18th: I'll be performing for about 20 minutes on Red's Room Entertainment, a zoom café out from California. The UK TAKEOVER event where I and a friend of mine are but two of the many artists performing that night. Check my link (in bio or above) on the 18th and you'll be able to follow a link to see it live.

Next song out: Jesus, Jag Älskar Dig, Dec 10th is the date I'm shooting for.