⚠️DEPRESSING THOUGHT WARNING⚠️
I just got a random rush of nausea and almost threw up.
Today was weird. I preformed a really emotional monologue today in theater class, based on true events and stuff. Uh, so what happened was, I preformed my monologue, which was about caring for others more than yourself, and then my friend would come up and preformed her monologue (also based on true events) about not caring for others because of trust issues, then we would talk about the happy medium together, but it got really intense, we made three people in our class cry, and out teacher wants to record it to show to future students (cause it was so good 😏).
He asked us, and we are recording it two days from now. My friend... uh she wasn't okay. On our way to our next class she... uh, she has gone through a lot.. and she starting thinking about it really deeply about telling her about the painful part of her life to a bunch of strangers, and.. she skipped half of class to talk to the counselor.
And now I'm thinking back to the time I was feeling those feelings, and being in that mindset, and I feel weird.
Not like that, well maybe a little bit... but I thought it would be harder to talk about those feelings.
But... I could still talk about it, and laugh afterwards...
And after seeing my friend the way she was... I thought maybe I should feel the same...
But I don't.
And my mind started racing, thinking that I was overplaying my feelings, or I was faking...
But I'm not... the feelings are far over... but...I don't even know..
Ugh, I feel really crappy, and stupid, and dramatic right now.
I don't know why.
I want this feeling to stop.. but it won't.
I've tried everything to make it stop, but it won't leave me alone.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhh.
Whenever someone talks about their trauma, or past experiences, I can't help but think how... meaningless my experience was...
And I know I shouldn't think that.. or I'll get back into that mindset...
But they have such bad experiences... and mine didn't even mean that much...
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Ugh
I don't even know...
I hate my brain right now..
Hope your having a good day. I sure am not.
Have a good day.
YOU ARE READING
Random Thoughts
RandomSo, uh, hi. This is just a story filled with, just random thoughts and rants, that's I couldn't stretch into its own story, so I just smashed them all into this... caboodle of nonsense. You can learn from some of my experiences, and I will be trying...
