A Million Pieces - Hunger Games (Catching Fire & Mockingjay)

Chapter 1

It's reaping day.

My hands are shaking. I clench them together to hide it, but they won't stop. My finger comes up to my right wrist, where a strong piece of rope serves as a bracelet. I tug at it and turn it anxiously.

My long brown hair sways with the salty sea wind. The reaping is taking place on the beach, where it always does. I avoid this beach most of the year. Too many memories. None of them good.

I glance around at the citizens of District 4, all gathered for the first time since the District Twelve Victory Tour. The Peacekeepers that surround us are more alert this time, watching us to make sure we won't start a riot again.

Janus, the escort, announces that the boys will be reaped first this year and slips his arm in the only reaping ball on the table. Usually filled to the brim, this year it holds only two pieces of paper. I close my eyes as Janus pulls a single slip out and reads:

"Finnick Odair!"

The escort asks for volunteers, and I open my eyes. I look at my family, standing beside me. Coventina Rivera doesn't scream like Finnick's mother did the first time he was reaped, ten years ago. But I know the woman standing beside me would've done the same if she hadn't been prepared. She loves Finnick like a son, just like she loves Annie and me as daughters. Silent tears cascade down her cheeks. Annie Cresta is whimpering. Malila is unnaturally still. Caspian glances at the Peacekeepers, then climbs over the barrier keeping him and Finnick away from us. He picks up his little sister, and she shoves her face into his shoulder. Our gaze meets for a split second, and the pain in his eyes multiplies my own.

His name is on the second strip of paper in the reaping ball. Caspian Rivera won his Games when he was fifteen, the year after Finnick. Our most recent consecutive years of victory.

Finnick looks past Auntie Tina, Annie and me. His gaze locks onto Caspian and only from years of friendship can I understand the conversation that passes between them. Finnick shakes his head and glances longingly at the rest of our little group. Caspian swallows hard but nods. Finnick has made his choice; he will enter the arena, not Caspian.

I wrap an arm around Coventina, Caspian's mother, and I reach for Annie with my other hand. She grips it tightly, desperately trying to keep herself together. I share their pain, so agonising that I wonder if it will ever go away. Finnick going to the Hunger Games. Again.

Caspian is also holding back tears, watching me hold Coventina and Annie as he brushes his hand over Malila's hair. She's trembling in his arms, and the sight just adds salt to my deeply wounded heart. I love Caspian's mother and sister, and so do Finnick and Annie. His family has cared for us like no one else. They are our family now. Watching Malila, I wonder if it would've been better if we had never gotten close. Easier. It certainly would've hurt less to see Finnick walk away.

My eyes follow him as he makes his way to Janus. He smiles brilliantly at the cameras, flashing them a wink. He's good at hiding his true feelings, but he can't fool me. Finnick was fourteen when he won his Games. The same Games that my sister lost. That's what they say in the Capitol. Talise lost the Games. Not "died" . Certainly not "killed". Lost.

When Finnick returned to District 4, he sought me out, apologising endlessly. So different from the cold-hearted killer I watched for almost three weeks. I cried with him for hours, until we were the only ones left on the reaping beach. Caspian had stayed with us, bringing blankets to fight the cool night air. Panem expected me to hate Finnick, but I never have. And I never could. He didn't kill Tali, and I don't know that I could hold it against him even if he had. At the end of the day, it always comes down to the Capitol.

"Since there are no female victors," Janus is saying. I feel a pang in my heart and I anxiously twist my rope bracelet. There would have been a female victor if Tali had made it back. If Annie's cousin was still here. If Mags hadn't died of a heart attack the night they announced the Quarter Quell. "The Capitol has had to choose one themselves," Janus continues. I study his shaped beard and wonder whether it is considered attractive anywhere, paired with his white hair and pot-belly. "As to give the young lady a chance, since she doesn't have the experience of the other victors, the Capitol has decided to choose the sister of a previous tribute. She was reaped once and now she is being reaped again." I'm too focused on the fact that a girl has been handpicked by Snow, wondering if it will be someone who helped organise the revolt, to immediately understand what Janus is saying. About a tribute's sister.