Just a bunch of short stories about y/n and emily
Tw will be included if necessary!
Please check out my other book about Emily called "falling for you" 🥰
I take requests about topics or prompts, just DM me :)
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"𝗶 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁?" _____
You sign and push the bedroom door open to see Emily in bed with the light on holding one of her many books in her hands. She doesn't seem to notice your presence because she's sucked in the her latest novel.
You feel annoying coming to her and telling her it's bad again because you know how much she worries about you all the time and you know it breaks her heart to see you like this.
You had struggled with self harm and your mental health for many years. You had been hiding your scars from everyone on the team by wearing long sleeved shirts and pants even on the hottest summer days and no one seemed to pick up on it but Emily. Although she wasn't completely sure until she walked in on you washing your hands with your sleeves rolled up, that's when she saw them.
Emily probably wouldn't kept quiet if they were only scars but since they deep and fresh cuts she knew she couldn't ignore it.
Seeing her friends in pain never sat right with Emily but seeing her girlfriend like this was even worse. She felt completely powerless and she had no idea what do do.
She sat you down on the couch in your living room and talked to you about it which was really hard for the both of you. You broke down and Emily held you for hours until you calmed down and eventually told her about everything that had been going on. You also told her about the traumatic events of your childhood which was the reason this all started to begin with.
You both decided that whenever you got any urges your were going to come to her so you could talk about it together instead of acting out on your emotions which was much easier said that done but you did try.
You had been dating Emily for just over 4 months and you had managed to hide your scars from her this whole time.
Whenever things got too heated and clothing items we're about to be removed you stopped her and told her that you just weren't ready which was completely untrue but you knew you couldn't let her see you, all of you because you couldn't live with the guilt that came with her seeing your scars. Of course Emily respected your boundaries, she would never want you to do something you weren't comfortable with so she always told you,
"We'll wait as long as you need, I want you to feel ready"
You hadn't even realized you had started crying until Emily puts her book down and and gives you a worried look, "come here ,love" she says softly opening her arms for you. You sit down on the bed and she immediately pulls you into her warm embrace.
"I'm sorry Em" you cry into her shirt, you felt so incredibly guilty.
"Hey shhh what happened?" She asks while stroking your hair. You don't even get change to reply because she notices the blood tickling down your arm.
"Baby...you need to come to me right away so we can talk about instead of hurting yourself" She says as she gently pulls away and cups your cheek.
You look down in your lap feeling so much shame and guilt.
"Hey, I'm not mad at you I'm just worried I hate seeing you like this because I love you so much" she reassures you which makes you break into sobs again.
She kisses your forehead and holds you until you calm down again. Then she leads you to the kitchen and sets you down on the counter while she searches the cabinets for some sterile wipes and bandages for your arm. She stands between your legs and open a packet of sterile wipes to clean your arm with.
She cleans the cuts and put the bandages onto your arm before kissing you gently which causes you to freeze up. Emily pulls away carefully, scared that she hurt you somehow.
You look down, "maybe we should take a break" you say in a low tone.
Emily scrunches her eyebrows together, "where's this coming from?"
"You deserve better Em and I can't give you better right now, it's not fair to y-" you say
"You're pushing me away" Emily interrupts you.
You jump down from the counter and walk towards the living room with your girlfriend following behind.
"Dammit Emily I'm protecting you!" You snap
"I don't need to be protected! I chose to stay because I love you and I care about you, why can't you believe that?" Her tone matches yours perfectly but she makes sure not to yell because she knows you can't handle people yelling.
You shake your head, "because everyone ends up leaving sooner or later! You love me one day and the next I'm "too much to handle" and you're out the door, I know how this works. I know how difficult it is to be loved when you have mental illnesses. "You say you're there for me but I know I'm difficult when I'm crying for the 6th time in a week when I'm trying not to relapse. Or when I'm on the bathroom floor having my third panic attack of the day. You say you love me but I know I'm difficult when I can't do simple everyday tasks a normal person wouldn't think twice about. I know that and I'm not going to sugarcoat it because that's the damn reality!"
"Y/n..." she starts.
"what? We both know it's true so spare me the heartbreak please because I can assure you I can't take it, it will literally ruin me!" You weren't crying this time because honestly you didn't have any tears left. You turn around and walk inside the kitchen, leaning forward on your elbows against the counter, burying your head in your arms.
You hear Emily walk up behind you but you don't turn around to face her.
"I'm not going to leave and I'm not going to let you self destruct as push me away" she says calmly
"I don't self destruct" you scoff feeling annoyed that she would think that to begin with.
"Yes you do y/n and I know it's because you're protecting yourself from getting hurt because the people close to you have hurt you in the past but I'm not those people, I'm not going to bail on you when things get tough because then I would already be out the door and you know it." She turns you around and pulls you into her arms and by now you didn't have the energy to fight anymore so you let her.
"I just don't know what to do anymore" you sigh.
"we'll figure it out together, I promise" she says softly. You pull back and look into her eyes, "I love you so much, you know that?" You say.
She starts to tear up and kisses your forehead "I love you even more"
