Burning Rose

A Change

Rose's POV

I came back to the house like dr. Volmer said, before dark. We saw each other during dinner, but didn't spoke to each other. I took some time after dr. Volmer left me on that meadow earlier, and decided to become more confident, to change something with me. Those boys were able to hurt me just because I let them. I wasn't fighting enough. I haven't come up with a plan, how to change this about me and what specifically to change, but let's just start with being more determined. 

Next morning I woke up with a smile on my face. I decided to emit positive energy from now on, and after an hour of thinking only about positive things - mostly about dr. Volmer - I saw that I feel much better. After taking a warm bath and dressing myself and curling my hair, I felt very productive. I decided it is time for breakfast so I headed down the hall to dining room. Most of the patients that live here have already eaten and gone to their therapies or to play board games with others, so the dining hall was mostly empty. 

I was thinking what I would do today, besides going to my therapy, when I saw multiple nurses and dr. Volmer in the hallway talking to each other while walking. The nurses were probably asking the doctor about the therapies, because each had a big pile of files in their hands. I stopped eating and everything that happened between us and everything he said hit me like a grenade. For a second I lost that confidence I had since I woke up and I started to observe him. He was dressed in white clothes, as always, and his black hair were on point like always. They stopped right in front of the entrance of dining room and after a few seconds he looked up, directly at me. I almost choked on my orange juice and looked in the other way. I felt the redness in my cheeks and moved my hair over them, so he wouldn't see. I looked to him again and saw him coming over.

˝Shit...˝ I said quietly so he didn't hear me and tried to fix my appearance as much as possible, while not knowing which way to look. I felt my heart starting beating faster, but telling myself to calm down. The next time I looked up he was already in front of me. 

˝Good morning Rose. You look beautiful, as always.˝ he said with a slight smile on his face. And I almost forgot to answer because I was too busy looking his face and processing what he just said. 

˝Uuuuhmmmm....... good morning to you too.˝ I tried to smile, but I was so nervous, that I don't know if the facial expression I made  was anything close to a smile. ˝And thank you˝ I remembered he gave me a compliment. 

˝May I join you?˝ he asked and pointed to a chair opposite me. I nodded and he sat down the next second. I tried not to look so nervous, while he was so relaxed and again, like always, he took me over with his casual behavior and good mood. 

He looked at me with a wide smile and studied my face for a second and then said ˝You look different. Not in a bad way, I mean.˝ 

˝I do?˝ was all I could say.

˝Yes. Whatever it is, keep doing it, because it obviously helps you.˝ he took some juice, but a few seconds after, a nurse came and said they need him immediately. He wanted to continue to talk to me, but she said it was important. I felt kind of relieved, because  he did all the talking, I was just looking at him, answering what he asked me and admiring him. Before he left he turned around and said

˝Excuse me. Will se you later at your therapy. Oh, and I like what you did with your hair.˝ and then he left. I just sat there in the middle of dining room wanting to explode of the energy that has gathered inside me. I turned red again, not knowing where to look. At that point I just had the feeling everyone was staring at me, so I decided to leave. But then I remembered. Before I came here I usually went running. That happened only a few times a month and I just got the feeling I could try it here. Besides, I just got so much energy I could run  marathon. I went to my room to change and checked the time. There was plenty of time before my therapy, so I could do a bit longer round.