Burning Rose

Did I do the right thing?

Rose's POV

I was standing in the middle of that horrible room, filled with cold, yet still alive bodies, scared to death. I wanted to go out of there as quickly as possible, but I just couldn't find the door. Running around and around I started panicking and the familiar feeling of  suffocating creeped around my neck.

As I passed a table, trying to calm myself down, a hand grabbed me by my wrist. I wanted to scream, but couldn't bring myself to do that. I looked down and an old woman looked straight in my eyes.

˝You shouldn't be out of bed.˝ she said with raspy voice. A fever washed over my body. I hardly pulled my wrist out of her hand and then turned around to find an exit. But as I did, Dr. Volmer was standing right in front of me.

˝What-˝ I breathed and when I looked around, we were not in that horrible room anymore. He was just standing there, looking at me and as much as I wanted to run away from him the more I couldn't move. 

˝Rose, please.˝ he said with a gentle voice. 

˝No-˝ I tried to get away from him, but couldn't. ˝Get away from me!˝

˝I am not trying to hurt you, my Rose.˝ he said. ˝Just listen to me.˝

˝No....no........please-˝ I breathed quickly ˝Ju- just leave me alone.˝ My heart was beating very fast.

Then all of a sudden I heard buzzing all around me. When I looked around me I saw nothing. Just blackness. Dr. Volmer's face went still, but he was still looking at me. 

The buzzing wouldn't stop and it started getting on my nerves.

˝It's time to wake up Rose.˝ he said to me.

(end of dreams)

˝No-!˝ I said loud enough to wake myself up. The buzzing was still going on and I needed a second to realize it was my phone. 

I guess I fell asleep at the end. At first I didn't even feel tired, but after a while I just shut my eyes and now I'm awake and it is morning. 

My things are already packed, all I need to do is call a taxi and get to the airport. So firstly I do that and then I still have enough time to shower and gather my stuff to go.

I quickly wash myself and get dressed. It is 6 AM. I guess Dr. Volmer is either still asleep or with a patient. But I would rather see if he is still sleeping so we wouldn't have any contact. 

As I go out of my room with my suitcase and my guitar a nurse comes by.

˝Miss, where are you going?˝ a young woman said to me with a german accent.

˝I-.˝ I didn't really think about the nurses if anyone would see me and what my excuse would be, but I had to move quickly so she wouldn't go looking for Dr. Volmer.

˝My treatment is finished and I am going home today.˝ I lied.

˝Sorry, but no one informed me of a patient leaving this morning.˝ she didn't looked convinced.

˝Well I am leaving, so if you will excuse me.˝ I say and walk past her. She didn't argue with me, just turned around and stormed down the hallway. I knew she was going to get Dr. Volmer, so I had to be quicker.

As I step outdoor I already see a taxi waiting for me, so I run to the trunk and put my suitcase in and hop on the back seat.

˝Go, go, go!˝ I yell to the driver and as he started driving Dr. Volmer was at the entrance of the wellness center just looking at the car. He was too late. All I could do was catch his eyes and that was my goodbye to him.

I don't know if I'm being emotional or if this was what I wanted to see, but I swear there was pain in his eyes. 

It hurts me too, to leave him without a proper goodbye, but after what I saw, I don't think I could trust him anymore. 

I told the driver where to go and we didn't speak anymore. Not even when I cried my eyes of, while thinking of all the amazing things that just happened to me in those 2 months. What it felt to be in his embrace and the things he gave to me. As much as my heart was telling me to stay, my brain was telling me no. 

I don't even know how I could let another person ruin me like that. Making fun of me and taking advantage of me. At this point I don't know if I should trust another person anymore. 

At least I will see Emma again after all this time. Even tho she is my best friend, we were not much in contact this past time. We heard each other on the phone twice a month and that was about it. I didn't even use my phone for other things than calling my parents and Emma. That reminds me to call her before I get on the plane and to tell her I'm coming home. 

My thinking was interrupted when I heard loud honking from the car behind us. I turned around to see what is the matter and I saw a familiar car. The driver was pissed and started cussing.

˝I will have to pull out.˝ he said. That was when I remembered whos car was that.

˝No, you cant!˝ I wanted to stop him, but he already slowed the car down.

˝Shit.˝ I said by myself and started thinking what to do and how to escape him.

The car stopped and Dr. Volmer stepped out of the back. Anger filled my veins when the thought of him forcing me back to the wellness center went through my mind. I decided to tell him what he deserves and not to let myself be compelled. I step out of the car, my hands in fists and start walking towards him. He didn't look angry as I thought he would, but rather concerned. 

˝Listen!˝ I started and then stopped right in front of him.

˝Rose, where are you going?˝ he said coldly.

˝I am going home.˝ I say confident.

˝No, you are not.˝ Now I am pissed.

˝And you are the one to say so? I can't even stand you right now. Taking advantage of me like that, like who do you think you are?˝ the more I talked, the louder I was speaking.

˝I didn't take advantage of you. Listen to me. Everything that happened between us was not a game-˝

I started feeling my throat tighten up and my eyes burning. I knew I wasn't able to speak normal anymore, so I  started yelling instead.

˝You know what, shut up! SHUT UP! I don't want to know. I DON'T CARE!˝ I yell. ˝I am going home and I don't want to see you anymore!˝ Now tears were rolling down my cheeks and I couldn't look at him.

I turned around to the taxi and said ˝Just go.˝ 

My body was trembling, so I put arms around myself. I hear him walking towards me, but he only did a few steps before I breathed ˝Please.˝

He stopped and just stood there for a few moments. ˝Rose, if you would just listen-˝

˝No.˝ I said, not wanting to look at him again.

There was this killing silence for a few seconds before he said ˝As you wish.˝ and turned around, got in the car and left.

I couldn't take it anymore. When I heard the car turning and leaving my muscles failed and I collapse on the ground, my face berried in my hands, wile I cried my soul out. 

As much as I love him I cannot let myself live with someone like that. And as much as I hate to leave like that, the only thing keeping me up is telling myself that I did the right thing.