Halstead Sister

Panic Attack

Tess POV (age 15)
I was having a shit day. My alarm went off late so I just made it to school on time, I forgot my homework for fourth period, and I was stressing about the math test I had the next day. I had barely started studying for it, which I know was my fault, and that made me feel even worse. I sat at my desk with my practice problems in front of me and tapped my pencil. I was too anxious to focus on studying. I heard the front door unlock and looked at my phone. Great. It was 5:30. I had been staring at my work for over an hour and the only thing I did was set up one problem.
"T?" Jay stuck his head in my room. I spun around to look at him. "You okay? I called your name 3 times."
I took a deep breath. "Yeah" I lied. "I was just really focused."
Jay gave me a skeptical look. "Wanna go out for dinner? Will's running late and I'm not in the mood to cook." I hesitated. I had so much studying to do and didn't want to take the time to go out but I also didn't want to confess to Jay I had been procrastinating. "We can go to Joe's." Jay suggested my favorite restaurant.
I nodded. "Sure." I did my best to sound enthused but I don't think Jay bought it. I slid my phone in my pocket and left my room, following Jay down the hallway.

As soon as we were seated at the restaurant, I told the waitress we were ready to order. I wanted to make it the fastest meal ever. Jay gave me a questioning look.
"What?" I shrugged. "We both always order the same thing." Jay chuckled but nodded. Jay tried to carry out a conversation with me but I kept my responses short. When our food arrived, I started eating quickly.
"Jeez, Tess. Did you eat anything today?" Jay asked, somewhat amused yet concerned.
I swallowed a big bite before answering. "Yeah. Just hungrier than usual. Probably getting my period." It was a lie but I knew Jay would drop it once I mentioned my period.
We ate in mostly silence and fortunately Jay was a fast eater anyway and finished just after I did. I asked the waitress for the check when she cleared the plates and we left the restaurant just 45 minutes after we got there.
"I think that was a record for the fastest time spent at Joe's" Jay said on the way home. I hummed in response. I was anxious and nauseous, which was made worse from eating so fast. "You sure you're ok?"
"Yeah" I perked up. I didn't say anything for the rest of the drive and bolted up to our apartment when we got home. I immediately went to my room to resume studying.
I had just finished my fourth problem when there was a knock on my door.
"Hey kiddo." Will said.
"Oh hi." What time was it? I looked over at my clock that read 9pm and sighed.
"It's late" Will pointed out.
"I guess. Just finishing up some homework." I told him.
"Alright. Let me know if I can help. And don't stay up too late." He kissed the top of my head and left the room.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I thought. There was no way I was going to make it through the rest of the practice problems before midnight and I knew I also needed sleep if I wanted to do well. I dove back into the work and tried to do as much as possible.
Around 10pm I finished the first set of practice problems and went to check my answers. I only got 4 out of 8 right?! A fucking 50%!?
I felt my heart rate increase. I started to breathe quickly. My chest felt like it was tightening. There was a humming in my ears. I was lightheaded. My vision was blurry. Tears welled up in my eyes and poured silently down my cheeks. My body shook. I was terrified. I wanted to scream but nothing came out. I was hit by a sudden wave of nausea and lunged for my garbage can but I wasn't quick enough and puked on the floor. That's when I finally screamed.

Will POV
I was sitting on the couch finishing up some patient notes while Jay had the hockey game on. It was around 10pm when I heard the unmistakable sound of vomiting coming from Tess's room. I stood up without saying a word and started to make my way down the hall to check on her. A few seconds later, Tess screamed louder than I had ever heard her scream before. Jay jumped up and bolted past me to Tess's room, throwing open the door.
"Tess!" He exclaimed. He froze in the doorway and I pushed him to the side to get to our sister. Tess was sitting on the ground on her knees. She was shaking and sobbing and there was a puddle of vomit in front of her. She looked up at us and tried to say something but couldn't since she was crying so hard.
"Hey hey hey," I said calmly as I got down next to her. I gently placed my hand on her back. "Slow down. Take a deep breath." Tess shook her head and clutched her chest. "Yes" I nodded. "You can. Do it with me." I exaggerated taking a slow deep breath in and out. And another. Tess tried to match me but was having trouble. She gagged again and I placed her trash can in front of her just in time. "Okay. It's okay Tessy. You're safe. Just take a deep breath for me." I told her. I pulled her toward me and held her as tightly as I could without hurting her. I tried to coach her through breathing which she was starting to match. After about 5 minutes. Tess's breathing evened out and I felt her body relax. "Good job, baby. You did great." I told her. She leaned away from me and I released my grip. She wiped her eyes on her sleeves and looked between me and Jay.
"You don't have to say anything." Jay told her. "You especially don't have to apologize."
"Why don't you go wash up, shower, whatever you want, while Jay and I clean up here. Then once you're settled, we can talk. Ok?" I suggested. Tess nodded and went into the bathroom.
I stood up and went to get cleaning supplies. Jay was close on my heels. "What the hell was that?" He asked.
"Panic attack." I stated the obvious.
"No shit. But have you ever seen her have one that bad?" Jay followed me back into Tess's room with cleaner and paper towels in tow.
I shook my head. "Honestly I was worried we were going to need to sedate her."
Jay sighed and knelt down next to me to help me clean the mess. "So what do we do?"
"Talk to her. See what's going on. I doubt something this bad just came out of nowhere." I replied. "I'll try to get her an appointment with Dr. Charles or one of his residents."
Jay and I were just finishing up when Tess came back in. She was dressed in fuzzy PJs, her hair was wet, and her eyes were puffy and bloodshot.
"Hi" she said softly.
"Hey Tiny. Ready to talk?" I asked, getting up. Tess shrugged. "Here or living room?"
"Jay's?" Tess asked hopefully. I smiled. Ever since she was a little kid, Tess sought comfort in Jay, which led to her preferring Jay's room over any room in the apartment. Whether it be a nightmare or sickness, Tess would climb into bed with Jay and he would protect her in a safe space.
"C'mon kiddo." Jay guided Tess into his room. Tess immediately crawled into "her" side of the bed. Jay sat next to her and I took a seat on the foot of the bed facing her.
"When you're ready, want to tell us what that was all about?" I asked.

Tess POV
I sat in Jay's bed with both of my brothers staring at me, waiting for me to talk. "I fucked up." I told them.
"How?" Will asked.
"I put off studying for my math test and I just failed the practice test and now it's nearly midnight and I don't have enough time to study and sleep before tomorrow which means I'm going to fail the actual test which will ruin my grade in the class and then I won't get into college." I said in one breath. I could feel my heart rate starting to speed up again.
"Tess, none of that is true." Jay scoffed. "One bad test does not mean you will fail the course let alone not get into college. You didn't "fuck up" anything."
Will cut him off and looked at me. "We can talk about why most of what you said isn't true later. Right now, let's deal with the moment." I nodded, despite still being very anxious. "Truthfully, and I am not saying this because you didn't study," Will continued. "But I don't think it's a good idea for you to go to school tomorrow anyway. You had a pretty bad panic attack and need to physically and mentally rest. So right now, you don't need to worry about that test tomorrow." I felt some of the tension leave my body. I was completely exhausted. I was fighting to keep my eyes open as Will continued to say something. "That ok?" Will asked. I nodded, not really sure what I agreed to. "Tess?" Will said waking me from my half asleep state. "Why don't you go to sleep and we can talk in the morning?"
"Yeah" I said cuddling further into Jay's bed. "I'm falling asleep."
"We noticed" Jay chuckled. "I take it you're sleeping in here?" I nodded closing my eyes.
"Thank you guys. And I'm sorry." I told them.
"Hey, you have nothing to apologize for. We'll work it out. We're here to help you. Always." Will said. He kissed my head and left the room. I felt Jay get up and return a few seconds later, getting under the covers with me.
"I love you T." He whispered as I drifted off to sleep.