My Infinity 》Renga

15

Chapter 15- Langa's POV:

It's nearly midnight by the time I get home.

Mum is waiting for me anxiously by our door when Shadow's car with Miya and me in it pulls into the driveway.

"Get some sleep, Langa." Shadow sighs, looking exhausted.

"He'll be fine." Miya yawns, referring to the person I haven't stopped worrying about.

"Thanks for the lift." I murmur, getting out of the car.

As I step from the vehicle, everything suddenly comes crashing over me like a tsunami, and I bolt down the footpath, collapsing into my mother's arms, letting the tears fall instead of trying to fight them. She says nothing, just leads me gently inside the house. I can't speak, so I wave to the portrait of my family.

"What if he doesn't recover?" I sob.

"Oh, sweetie, Reki's going to be alright, Joe said so when he called..." My mother says soothingly, sitting me down on the couch.

"He doesn't know! Mum... seeing him like that..."

"I understand."

"You don't understand! If you saw the state he was in..."

"Langa, he will be okay."

"But what if he's not?" I yell, no longer caring about what I'm saying, "What if he doesn't get better? What if he broke his back? What if he can't walk? What if he can't skate?"

"Sweetie..."

"I can't bear seeing him so helpless!"

"I know you can't. You care about him, I get it."

"No, Mum, you don't get it, it's more than that..."

My mother remains quiet for a few minutes, her hand on my shoulder.

"What is it, then?"

"I-I don't kn-know right now... not everything..."

"What do you know? Focus on that."

I look at her brown eyes, so curious and sympathetic.

I can't help but start crying again, trying to think of how to phrase what I want to say.

"I know th-that..."

The words stick in my throat like they're covered in glue.

"It's alright, darling..."

"I love Reki..." I wail.

"I know. He's you're friend, of course you do."

I look at my oblivious parent, trying to hint to her with my glance that that wasn't what I meant.

"What...?" She mutters, confused. I keep looking at her.

Eventually, she gets my hint and her eyes widen.

"Oh, Langa..."

"I'm sorry!" I cry, "I'm sorry Mum but I like him, a lot..."

"Sweetie, don't apologize to me, just clarify; are you saying that you have a crush on Reki?"

I go to nod, but then shake my head.

"No, Mum, I don't have a crush on him... it's more... I'm sorry... you ask me if I like any of the girls at my school but I don't think... he's just... I don't l-like any of them at all... I love Reki..."

Mum smiles slightly, as if she's seen this before.

"I'm glad you told me."

"Wait, you don't care?" I sob. I think I've cried more in this evening than I have in the previous 18 years. I think about Reki telling me not to cry. Stupid boy, making me bawl my eyes out. Beautiful, stupid boy...

"Of course I don't care!" She exclaims, looking shocked, "love whoever you want to. Just be sure to give me the gossip!"

I laugh.

"Though, all jokes aside," she sighs, "he really is going to be fine, okay?"

"Okay."

I barely sleep at all throughout the night.

I spend hours on end tossing and turning, half asleep nightmares featuring Reki's scared expression and images of hospitals taunting my mind.

At around 3 o'clock in the morning, I give up on trying to sleep. I get up and get some water, then wander around the house for a while. Becoming tired is pointless. Impossible.

Instead of this, I scroll through my phone, going back to over a year ago.

I click on an old video, one that I've nearly forgotten exists.

"Okay, Langa, I'm recording!" Reki's voice says happily.

"Alright, cool. So what do I need to do?"

I watch as our slightly younger figures discuss tactics on the screen.

"Ready? Go!" He says.

I watch myself attempt an ollie and fail miserably, falling onto the concrete ground of the skate park.

"Hah! Nice one, Langa!" The red headed teenager laughs, picking my skateboard up off the ground and handing it back to me.

"Are you sure?" Younger me asks.

"Yeah, of course!"

The words ring in my ears, all the encouraging words Reki has said to me over the past year, all the claims of "you can do this", and "don't give up yet", and "I fell on my face a lot when I started, too".

Before I'm completely aware of what I'm doing, I'm pulling on warm clothes, shoes, grabbing my skateboard and clambering out of my window. I jump down onto the dewy grass and run out of my front garden onto the smooth concrete path.

I don't slow down as when I get to the skate park, I just try the trick I've been attempting for months.

As usual, I spin twice and fall. But I get up again, attempting the manoeuvre even as my palms because scratched and bruised from hitting the ground.

"I can do this, come on..." I mutter.

After a few more tries, I manage to spin three times. Then I get one on the deck.

It hurts as I fall repeatedly, but I can't give up on this tonight.

In one fluid, miraculous motion, I spin three times, angle my feet to the back of the board and it hits the ground.

I spin. Once, twice, three times, and I lean forward so the board is back on all of its wheels.

"Yes!" I cry excitedly, punching the air, "Reki, I did it!"

I run over to my phone, picking it up and waving to the camera.

"Get well soon. I'll come and see you tomorrow!" I say, hitting stop.

I lie down on the freezing ground, staring up at the clear sky.

"You make me so happy."

"I wish I could tell you the truth without screwing it up."

"I'm never leaving you. Ever."

I'm talking to the stars. How sweetly pathetic.