Being the Bad boy Alpha's Mate

Chapter 5 - Facing Rejection

My heart was in my throat.

No scratch that, my heart was on the floor a bloody gooey mess of pain.

Actually, one better. My heart was in the back pocket of the man of swagger himself, and he just walked away with it. And the little string that my heart tethered to my chest wanted to pull me along like a puppet in the direction he just walked off in.

So what now do I go after him? I wonder, as a million thoughts keep crashing into my brain at once.

Hell no! The defiant part of myself speaks up.

Hell yes! Screamed my wolf in complete disagreement.

That's our mate Jessica go after him.

But he left us.

That means he doesn't want us.

The thought bounces around my skull in the most painful way possible, causing an instant headache and I almost scream aloud from the severity of it.

'No it doesn't there has to be another explanation.' My wolf pipes up, still the optimist in this situation.

I felt tears pricking at my eyes at the rejection of our mate.

Rejection.

The word is being Tossed around like a salad in my head, intensifying the headache to almost dizzying proportions. I sway on my feet.

Right now it feels like some thing was clawing harshly at all the organs in my chest.

My heart.

My lungs.

Which probably explained my overwhelming feeling of suffocation.

I drop the shopping bags and claw at my chest, my throat, willing myself to take in air.

The frog in my windpipe doesn't budge.

Who would do this to someone.

Willingly try to inflict this level of pain upon another human being for no obvious reason.

My wolf was trying to rationalize with me but I wasn't having it.

Her argument was that maybe he had a liable reason to leave us but I knew it wasn't true.

I replayed the image of that smirk over and over again. That smug nonchalant smirk. That flippant smirk.

And I know with an aching certainty. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach.

He really had left us.

I tried to take a step but it was much harder than it had been in all my previous years of existence.

I had to hold on to the fountain to steady myself.

He doesn't want you and you know why? Its because you're a fat cow.

That voice I hadn't heard for over 5 years was back.

The voice that I hated and made me suicidal through out my early teens was back.

I guess the pain of rejection by the one person in the world who is supposed to love and care for you no mater what can do that to a person.

As I looked at my reflection in the water I couldn't help the sick to my stomach feeling that passed through like a hurricane.

What was staring back at me was not the beautiful confident girl I had spent the last few years of my life creating but what I saw was that shy fat girl that was insistently made fun of and called names because of her size by almost everyone in grade school.