Still ▸ Teen Wolf [Book Two]

forty nine ; graceless weapons

☒ ☒ ☒ ☒ ☒ ☒ ☒ ☒ ☒ ☒ ☒ ☒

FORTY NINE;

GRACELESS WEAPONS

There was a wall that became a friend of the teenage girl, a plain, white wall that she stared at for nearly five hours straight, and a wall that was slowly beginning to eat away at her sanity the longer that she inspected it. It had gotten to a point about four hours in that her vision became blurry, and her mind began to come up with such agonizing thoughts as to why the bare wall was so intriguing to her. It didn't have any pictures, it didn't have any color, it was just a painfully sick theory that stuck inside of Sage Connelly's mind as her green irises never moved away from the wall. The wall wasn't good enough to have attention brought to it. It was just like every other white wall in the hospital, it was just like every other broken reminder that there are too many things left uncared for because no one gives a shit about it.

Sage, as she stared at the white interior of the building, felt like she was slowly losing her mind as she began to diagnosis a wall. The reality of why she was acting so lucid had to do with the fact that there was nothing else for her to do in the hospital. Stiles had gone back to sleep after the conversation they had, the blonde girl saying that she was going to go find Melissa so that she would check on the teenage boy, only for both of them to come back to see he was unconscious again. Ever since then, she found herself incapable of breathing the same air as Stiles, breaking her promise to never leave his side as she occupied a spot on the floor outside his room.

He told her that he still loved her, and despite the fact that she knew in her heart what she wanted, she couldn't say it back. The fact that she couldn't even process those simple three words had to do with the still remaining fact that she couldn't love him the way that she wanted to. She had him back, she knew that, and she had her heart again, but there was no way for her to even believe for a second that she could go back to the teenage girl she was a year ago with him. Too many things have changed, too many people have died, for them to ever be that naive to the realistic world that invaded any moment they tried to spend together. It would just be them acting on the belief that they could fix what was broken, when the actuality was that they couldn't even mend themselves. They were too shattered, torn into fragments, and her saying that she loved him back would do nothing to put them back together.

"You know," a voice began, making the blonde's head shoot up and tighten her arms around her legs. Sheriff Stilinski stood there, his eyebrows raised with a weak smile sported on his face, only enough for her to nod at him. "When I agreed to let you ditch school, I didn't think you would be spending your day off staring at a wall for five hours."

She pursed her lips at the man. "It's a nice wall."

"I'm sure it is," Sheriff Stilinski agreed, his smile tugging slightly farther before he sighed, maneuvering himself down next the girl with the help of the wall. "Melissa said that you haven't slept in a while. You should try and get some sleep. It's going to be a long day for Stiles. We're going to start running some tests in an hour, and get him into an MRI to make sure everything is okay."

Sage moved her head back over to the wall, her legs slowly falling down to the ground as she tried to ignore the complete weakness that she felt knowing that this nightmare she was walking and breathing in still wasn't over. "I'm not tired. I'm just confused."

"About what?"

The blonde didn't bother turning around to look at him when she answered, her eyes on the wall of the hospital that had so many memories and so much pain. "Everything. Life. Love. Sometimes, I just wish I was a kid again so someone would tell me what to do with my life. I grew up when I was ten years old. I grew up the moment that my family died in that fire, and ever since then, I've been making decisions based on what I believe is right for myself. I've been selfish, and I've been cold to the people I love most because I didn't want to hurt them, and no matter how hard I try, I'm always left broken. I'm always left standing in a cemetery, forcing myself to make another decision on what I believe is right."