I shiver in the darkness, rocking back and forth, just hoping I'd die.
Suicide. I laugh. That word used to sound so crazy. The idea to kill myself idiotic. I understand now that I should do it.
We're having a funeral tomorrow despite mom only died two days ago. We want to get this thing over with.
I'm wearing black jeans and a black oversized sweater. I leave my black hair down I cover my face.
At least there's no coffin. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see her deep green eyes staring back at me and telling me to be happy when soon I'm going to die too.
When it's my turn to speak I see that Sam, Will, and Laura are there but I ignore them. Tears flowing through.
"My mom" I start, my voice cracking. "She was there for me. Especially through the tough time I'm in now. She used to sit beside me and stroke my hair. She used to tell me that she will always be there for me. That I am beautiful, smart, and strong. There won't be anybody to tell me that anymore. There won't be anyone with her smile that can brighten up the darkest depths of despair.
I might not be able to be myself again. Right before she went I held her hand. This amazing woman" I start raisin my voice. "Through out everything that was happening to her. Through out all the pain she was feeling. Her last words were to me, and she said 'be happy.' I love you mom. I know you may can't hear me but I love you and I know I'll never hear that again for you." I pass it to my dad and my brother is there to hug me an let me cry into his shoulder even though I am staining his shirt.
-------------------------
Laura hugs me tightly after the funeral. Her arms tightly around me but I don't do the same.
"I don't know what to do" she whispers. Muffled sobs are coming from her.
At this moment I need someone. I will never trust anyone again but I need someone. I need her. I hug her tightly too. I don't let go. "I don't either."
When we go home. I decide I shouldn't kill myself yet. Bother my family more. I can't.
I have to wait. Wait to join my mom. Wait to be free and smile again.
YOU ARE READING
Alone
Teen FictionTRIGGER WARNING THIS BOOK IS ABOUT BULLYING How can one moment everything is perfect and the next your whole world is falling apart? How can you have the whole school on your side and then with the snap of a finger all against you? "Am I done?" "Is...
