Strawberry Fields Forever

Chapter 5

I planned on skiving school today, i couldn't face it, i knew I was going to have to go to school sometime soon but just not today. I needed a break.
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Instead of going to the bus stop i went to this place i had seen a few times while i was walking to the record shop, strawberry fields. The gates were locked so i climbed over and sat under a tree. It seemed peaceful here, i liked it.
I took my art book and pencils out of my bag, took off my jacket and started drawing. I stopped what i was doing when my wrist caught my eye, i stared at it. I put my pencil down and brought my hand up to my wrist, my fingers ran over the cuts. what had i done to myself... I'm fucking mad. My left wrists was covered in cuts. I'm not the one who is going to go an' blame this on someone else, even though people, including John, made me feel like shit yesterday, i did this to myself, i put the blade against my wrist, i cut myself. no one forced me, i am to blame. But then again i am to blame for everything.
I closed my eyes...
Flashback
My dad came home drunk, it was the first time i had seen him today. when i woke up this morning he wasn't here, either was my mum, she still isn't here.
"Dad wheres mum" i asked my dad
"Dead" he said blankly
"W-what?" I stuttered
"Shes dead! Shes fucking dead!" My dad shouted at me, throwing a glass of beer on the floor
"Its your fault! All your fucking fault!" He slapped me
End of flashback
"Alex"
I looked up, John was walking towards me, i quickly grabbed my stuff and shoved it inside my bag. i stood up and started walking away from him. i heard him shout my name again.
"What do you want John!" I shouted back, while i carried on walking. he ran up to me, "wait please" he said. i stopped and looked at him.
"Cant you see that i don't want to speak to you, i hate you John" i raised my hand to slap him but he grabbed my wrist and i winced. he held on loosely and stared at my wrist.
"A-Alex you p-promised" he said shakily
I pulled my wrist back "yeah? Well i guess we all make mistakes"
"T-this is all my fault... Im so sorry"
"I did it to myself"
"Because of me, and what happened yesterday"
"Just leave me alone John. why do you even care anyway, one day your all nice to me the next day you hate me"
"Im fuckin' sorry! What else do you want me to do! I cant go back in time and change things can i?!?" John shouted
"Go back to your mates then! Instead of wasting your fuckin' time talking to me!" I shouted back walking away from him
"Im sorry about everything, I'm sorry about telling people about your mum" he said quietly
I stopped "you should be, imagine if it was your mum who was dead and i went and told everyone"
John didn't say anything i carried on walking
"I'll stay out of your way Lennon, wouldn't want to ruin your reputation now would we?"
"Stop going on about my fuckin' reputation" he said as he caught up with me
"Thought that was all that mattered to you"
"Y-you matter to me" he said nervously
"i matter to nobody"
"Alex listen, i like you, i really do. I'm sorry for all this I've caused you, I'm sorry for making you feel so bad that you hurt yourself. I want to be your friend or maybe even more than friends, i don't care what anyone thinks, I.... I really l-like you"
"You'll change again, you say this now but tomorrow you'll ignore me at school"
"I wont i promise"
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Authors note- thanks for reading!! :) not the best chapter, but the others will be better