Knock, knock! Get the door, it's trauma!

Suicidal girlfriend

It's never easy to have a suicidal girlfriend.

Nancel and I have been together for almost 3 years. In those years, I've been helping my girlfriend get through from being suicidal. It wasn't easy. Each day, I'll see her doing everything just to take her life away.

"Lucian?" I was sitting on the couch watching television when she called out. We don't have any endearment and it's always the first name basis.

I jumped off and caught her in my arms when she almost collapsed. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I-I'm dizy," she said. I put the back of my palm on her forehead and she felt cold.

"Hindi ka na naman kumain?" I wasn't shock after she shook her head no.

Inalalayan ko siya hanggang sa makaupo ito. "Ipagluluto kita."

"No, I'm fat. 'Wag mo na 'kong ipagluto." I sighed before gazing at her small, thin body.

"Wait here." Hindi ko siya pinansin at dumiretso lang sa kusina. I cooked her favorite meal and feed her.

It wasn't easy, but I love her.

"Nancel, matagal kapa ba r'yan?" I knocked on the bathroom door. Kanina pa siya pumasok sa loob at hanggang ngayo'y hindi pa rin siya lumalabas. "Nancel-" I stopped when I noticed that the door wasn't even lock and went inside. "Nancel!"

I immediately went on her side when I saw her sprawled on the floor. I looked at her wrist covered with blood in horror. She did it again.

I shook her body. The time she opened her eyes, she began crying. "I-I'm sorry."

I cradled her in my arms and tried to calm her from sobbing. "It's okay. You're okay."

Hinablot ko ang bimpo na nakapatong sa lababo at pinampunas sa kanyang pulso.

I carried her bridal style and went to her room. Inihiga ko siya ng marahan sa kama. Pinatulog ko muna siya bago ko gamutin ang kanyang pulsuhan.

But sometimes, I just get tired of her condition.

"Nancel, what's this?" I signalled her the bottle of pills that I found under her pillows.

"W-Wala lang 'yan, Lucian-" I cut her off.

"Anong wala lang? Are you out of your mind?!" I shook my head in disbelief. "You know what? I'm tired. Pagod na 'kong intindihin at mahalin ka."

She burst into tears from what I said. Hinawi ko ang kamay niyang pilit hinahawakan ang akin and walked out of her life. Mas pinanindigan ko ang desisyon ko.

N'ong mga panahon na wala na siya sa buhay ko, I continued following my dreams ng magisa.

"Lucian, ijo? Puntahan mo naman si Nancel dito. Miss kana ng anak namin." I smiled, hearing tita from the other line.

"Sure, Tita. I'm on my way." Sumakay na 'ko ng sasakyan at pinaharurot 'to papunta sa kanila. It's been years since we last talked kaya kahit malayo siya ay pinuntahan ko.

The time that I got to her house, I finally saw her smiling. A sincere one.

"Thank you po." I smiled at my last patient bago siya umalis.

I became a successful Psychiatrist after years of meeting her, again. Treating everyone who's suffering from depression and those who have mental illnesses.

I stared at the picture frame resting on my desk. It was the photo of her with me.

After Nancel and I broke up, her Mother contacted me and said to see her. The time I arrived at her house, I saw her smiling.

Not because she saw me, but because she's already laying on the coffin.

It was a bad decision to leave my suicidal girlfriend who chose to live because of me.

..but I left.