Everything Has Changed

August

(mature content {some masturbation, sorry not sorry 🙂})

... She opens the fridge and finds some beers Selena had. Without caring she took them all and went back in the room. After leaving them on the bed, she closed the door and felt a pinch in her heart. She wanted to drown that feeling and she grabbed the beer and started drinking. She didn't care if she was going to get drunk. The only thing she wanted was to erase him from her memory.

She was drinking so fast that she finished the 1st bottle as if it was water. Then, she took another one, she opened it and started drinking again.

How could he do that to me. After giving him the best I had...he...she said but couldn't continue and started sobbing. She took many sips of this beer till she finished it. It wasn't enough though and she wanted more alcohol. She opened the closets, the drawers but there was nothing. Then she opens the drawer of the nightstand and notices a bottle of whiskey. A painful smile formed in her lips and she grabbed it. Without any second thoughts, she took quickly a few shots which burned her throat.

Salty tears had filled her eyes and the memories of her and him had flooded her mind. Lord, she loved him so much and he broke her.
She takes a few more sips before she finally breaks down completely. The bottle of whiskey was her only company and somebody who will forever be by her side when she needs it. It won't be Joe. The bottle of whiskey can feel the warm sensation of her lips. Joe can not. The bottle of whiskey can have the chance to have her fingers wrapped around. Joe can't.
She can't see his blue eyes, his blonde hair, his well exercised body under the moonlight making love to her. She won't see him again and that's his fault.
She thought there was something special that united them. She thought they had a special bond. Now everything seems so fake that she wanna throw up.

I'd written so many songs about him and how I loved him every day and night. I remember how we danced in the kitchen, how we used to play scrabble, how we used to chase each other in the stairs and then falling on the cold marble giggling. I remember how used to say I love you and I won't ever leave you. He said he would forever be by my side. He said he wanted to marry me. He told me he had imagined million times our future family with beautiful kids. He promised me that he...he would love me for the rest of his life. Man, we were together for 8 fucking months and he decided to give up everything we strived to build, our love. OUR LOVE! He managed to make me fall for him in less than a month!! He's such a coward! I love him but hate him! I adore him but I'm disgusted!
WHEREVER YOU ARE JOE DARLING... FUCK YOU! I WISH YOU'RE GOING TO DIE ALONE YOU SON OF A BITCH WHO CHEATED ON ME! YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON ME WITH A SLUT! GO AND FUCK YOUR SLUT! YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME BUT IT WAS ALL JUST A PRETEND! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?! YES, NO? I DONT GIVE A SHIT JUST FUCK YOU! '
she yelled in the end but she had to take all of this out of her chest.

Suddenly while she was talking, Selena knocked the door and entered the room. Her eyes saw a totally different Taylor she had never seen before. She was broken, drunk, and mad. He made her like that.
Selena, sat next to her on the cold marble and hugged her friend tightly. She didn't care if she was going to leave stains of tears in her shirt. All that she wanted was to see Taylor smiling again. This guy was her everything and he hurt her the most.

"Taylor...sshhh it's okay" she stroked her blond hair

"No it's not. He's not here. He won't ever be here again" she sniffs

"Don't cry baby. You don't deserve a bitch like him." she tries to comfort her

"He- h-he was my everything and he...he..." she couldn't continue and started crying again

"It's going to be alright "

"I remember how he said he'd be here for me. I miss his soft touch, his attractive look, his sweet smile. How could he do that to me Selena?" Taylor pulled back to look into her friend's eyes