It's Our Secret

Chapter 27 - Substitutions

My heart had stopped reeking with pain the next morning, thankfully, as I knew I had to be fit for the game against Australia. Leah stayed in my room that night, and we fell asleep in each other's arms. As we woke to my alarm, my head was laying on her chest and I felt her stroking my hair.
"Morning," she said to me, kissing the top of my head.
"Morning." Soon, I heard a knock at the door.

"Ett! Let me in!" It was Keira, shouting from outside my room. I jumped out of bed, put some sweatpants on and told Leah to go into the bathroom.
"Leah! Bathroom!" I whispered to her, as she got out of the bed. As she closed the bathroom door, I opened the front one.

"Why so early, Kie?" I asked her, trying to not act suspicious.
"It's not that early, and I wanted to go down to breakfast. Are you ready?"
"Do I look ready?" I retorted to her.
"Well, come on!" I groaned, and went to put on my team GB shirt and jacket, and grabbed my keycard. As I walked behind Keira to the lift, I sent Leah a message.

Ettie: Sorry! It was Keira! She wanted breakfast

Leah: that's all right, but it was close. We should be more careful

Ettie: yeah, i guess.

I have felt, recently, that what is the point in being careful. If Leah wants to have something with me, we are going to have to tell Kie at some point. It can't be a secret forever, can it?

We were at breakfast for around 10 minutes, before Leah and the rest of the girls arrived. Keira was unusually hungry this morning, and I was too. She smiled when she saw me eating a lot of food that, previously, I would have feared eating. But, as I reassured her earlier, I was okay. But, I did feel something off in my chest, but I knew I couldn't worry about it. I had Australia to worry about.

The team list got announced, and both Keira and I would be lining up. The GB manager went with more of a Manchester City orientated line up, but because she knew I used to play there, she thought I would fit quite nicely. My connection with Lucy is also unmatched and other teams have found it hard to combat.

"You ready?" Keira asked me, as we were about to line up. I nodded, smiling, trying to ignore the sting in my chest.
"Ready!"

As we walked out, I saw Sam and gave her a smile. She was leading the Matildas, wearing the captain's armband. Behind Sam was Hayley. Her yellow ribbon tied neatly in her hair and her smile catching my own. At the end of the line was Indi. I hadn't seen her in a while, but she gave me a small wave and I returned it. Indi, Sam and Ellie are going to be the trio we have to combat. They are unstoppable.

We had most of the possession in the first half. We were controlling the play, but a lucky shot from Alanna Kennedy meant we were down by one going into half time. It was annoying being down by one, when we all thought we were playing as the better team, but it just gave us more motivation to go out there and score and fast.

As we returned to the pitch, my chest was beating faster, and I could feel the blood circulating my heart. But this game was more important. I had to push through. Ellen scored a quick double, and somehow we were up 2-1.

In the 86th minute, I felt myself drifting. My heart was hurting to the point where I couldn't stand. I couldn't walk. I fell to the floor, clutching my chest. Injury time was called quickly, and Keira came rushing over. I saw Hayley, who was only a few yards away from me, walking quickly over also.
"I thought you said it was fine!" Keira whispered to me, angry.
"I thought it was," I replied, through gasping breaths, trying to contain my tears.
"Ettie," Hayley said, sitting beside me, "does it still hurt?" I nodded to Hayley, who then grabbed my hand before the trainers came out. Her thumb caressed my hand, giving me deja vu of when she used to do this when we were together. It felt good having the familiar feeling of the one person who knew how to comfort me during my worst.

The medics came over, but suddenly I felt my heart return to a normal pace. It had died down.
"I'm okay," I said to them, "I just fainted." Keira gave me a look. I knew she was angry. Hayley, although, wasn't angry, but concerned.
"Ettie, go off. There's only a few minutes left," Keira said to me sternly, "We'll survive." I nodded, knowing she was probably right.
As I walked off, Leah turned to look at me from the other side of the field. I didn't look back at her though. I didn't want to tell her, ever. 
I subbed out, and went to have a quick chat with the doctor. I told him I only fainted, probably due to not enough water being in my system. He didn't believe me, I could tell, but I didn't let that phase me.

After I went off, the game didn't go to plan. Sam scored in the 89th minute to draw the game and it went into extra time. The defence was lacking, and hard. I could sense Lucy felt out of place without me on her left. But, I couldn't go back in.

Mary Fowler, a young Australian, scored in extra time, and unfortunately for Lucy it was because of a massive deflection. They were up. We were losing.

Then, only three minutes later, Sam scored again. She got a brace. We were done. We had lost in the quarterfinals.

Ellen tried to redeem us, by completing her hat trick in the 115th minute, but it was all too late. We lost. We were out of the Olympics. I felt awful. My stupid heart, and my stupid brain meant that our defence unit wasn't at full strength. I did this. It was my fault. I tried not to cry, but I couldn't help it. Tears streamed down my face, and I could see, on the big screen, my tears were being projected. I wiped them away, and then went over to Keira. I gave her a hug.

"I'm sorry," I whispered into her ear.
"We'll talk later," she replied, not wanting to have a sibling argument just after we lost an important match.

I found Leah, and gave her a hug. I didn't care if someone saw. In the end, technically I am only her teammate, giving her a friendly consolation hug. But, I wanted more than that. I didn't want to be a secret anymore. Is she really that ashamed of me?

"Is everything okay?" Leah asked me, wondering why I went down.
"Oh yeah, I just fainted."
"Everyone looked concerned - your sister, Hayley..." Leah said.
"I just fainted," I replied, trying to reassure both her and myself.
"Okay," she replied. I didn't want to talk about it any longer. Instead, all I wanted to do was wallow in the fact we lost the quarters. We were out. We were done.