It's Our Secret

Chapter 33 - Bonds

Keira's POV

Leah had always been my best friend. Ettie was my soul mate and my person, but Leah was my best friend. Since U15s, Leah and I had formed this indescribable bond that could never be broken. We were always there for one another, and we both supported each other to the very end.

During our teenage years, Ettie was too focused on football to make friends. She had me, obviously, but she never found her Leah. She never found her best friend. When I was chatting and talking with my teammates, Ettie was running out on the pitch, practising her skills. This meant that I was left to give Ettie that helping hand. I encouraged her to come out into town, when Leah and I did, and I pushed her to go out for dinner or brunch. And she only did because I asked her to. So, Leah and her became friends, as a result of this. Obviously not as close as Leah and me, but still close.

When we were around 16, Ettie and Leah stopped talking for a while. I never knew why, but I could sense they were avoiding each other. I didn't question it though, as it wasn't my place and it also gave me the independence I needed - Leah on one side and Ettie on the other.

As Ettie struggled with her eating disorder, Leah was the one who supported me through it. I know I shouldn't need the support, but I did. When your twin sister doesn't like her body and goes to extreme measures to change it, it does impact you, in a way you can't describe. So, as I supported Ettie, Leah supported me. It worked. It was good.

So, as we sat on that bed in our family home and Ettie told me that she had been seeing Leah, in more than just a friendly way, I was hurt. I was hurt because they lied to me. I was hurt because they kept it a secret. But I was most hurt because if it didn't work out, I would have to choose - Leah or Ettie. And we all know how that would go.

"Ettie, you can't be serious. Please tell me you're fucking with me." She looked away from me, not catching my eye.
"I'm sorry, but I couldn't go on keeping it a secret."
"So, when I asked you, a few months back when you told me about your heart, if you had any more secrets and you said no, you were lying to me?" I asked, angry. I felt steam puffing out of my ears.
"Kie, please don't, please," Ettie pleaded, but I couldn't. I couldn't not be mad.
"I just- I feel as if this could end badly," I said, jittery.
"But..." Ettie started to say, before I interrupted her.
"No, no buts, Ett. Imagine this, in a picture perfect world, you and her work out, and you live happily ever after. But what if that's not the case. What if you break up and that leaves me picking between the two most important people in my life. It's not fair, Ettie." I knew I was being selfish, but I had to be, otherwise everything would be up in the air.
"What do you want me to do then, Keira? Huh?" She answered back, angry too.
"Call it off! Otherwise, I'll have to tell her. I'll have to tell her everything." I just blackmailed my own sister. I can't believe I just did that.
"Tell her what, Keira? She already knows about the eating and the heart. She's in it, for the long haul."
"I'll tell her about all of it." She glared at me, knowing what I was alluding to.
"Wow. Just wow. You know what, Kie, I thought we were older now. I thought maybe we could have forgotten but I guess not and I'm going to go. I'll see you later, Keira." She stood up, and walked out the door. I heard her say goodbye to Mum and Dad, and soon later, they were in the room, trying to get me to tell them what had happened. But I wouldn't budge. I let them go to bed wondering why their twins had the biggest fight they had ever had. Well, second biggest.

Over the next few weeks, Ettie and I didn't talk. She didn't text me and I didn't text her. It was silent but it was mutual. She was mad at how I reacted and I was mad at what she did.

It was the FA Cup Semi Final, and Chelsea travelled up to Manchester to verse us. City against Chelsea. Ettie against me. But this time, Ettie wouldn't be playing, rather sitting in the stands, alongside the other injured players. For City, we hadn't been playing too well. We had a lot of injuries, and a shocking start to the season. A win against Chelsea would be a miracle.

As we got off the bus at the stadium, I saw the Chelsea coach pulling up.
"I'm just going to wait," I said to Lucy. She nodded, and walked past along with Georgia. I told Lucy what had happened. I told her that we fought. I told her it was about Leah. But I didn't tell her that I blackmailed her. I didn't tell her that I said what I did.

The coach pulled up, and the Chelsea girls got off the bus. I caught eyes with Sam Kerr, who gave me a look that made me feel she knew. Behind her, was Ettie. She didn't look too good. She had dark circles under her eyes, and, from a month earlier, she looked thinner. Her hair was dry and tangled in a knot, and as she saw me, she looked away. She grabbed Sam's hand, and walked in with her, ignoring me entirely. I stood there, gobsmacked, that my twin sister didn't stop to talk to me. But, to be fair, I deserved it.

Millie came off the bus, and sighed. She came over to me, and gave me what I needed to hear.
"She's not good, at the moment, Keira," Millie said.
"What do you mean?"
"She told me and Sam that you guys haven't talked recently, but we don't know why, but she's had bad news. About her heart."
"Millie, please tell me."
"I'm not sure I can," Millie replied.
"I need to know."
"She's out for longer than expected, that's all I can say." I nodded and as she started to walk away, she turned back around. "Oh, and she said she broke someone's heart, but wouldn't tell us who."

I sighed, but relieved and sad. Sad that I made her do it, but glad that she did. Does that make me a bad person?

We ended up losing the game, 3-0, which, to be fair, was expected. Chelsea are a stellar side and we were extremely out of form. After the match, I went up to Ettie, again, to try and get her to talk to me.
"Ettie, please," I said to her, taping her shoulder from behind. When she turned around, I got a closer look at her face. The dark circles, bloodshot eyes, and dry skin.
"No, Keira, no." And with that, she was off. Millie took her hand, and took her inside. She was gone. My twin sister was gone. Things had fallen out of place.

Note:
- hope you enjoy the update
- so happy w the Chelsea win on the weekend. Arsenal just weren't looking like themselves.