☆All the bad thing in this world☆

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TW:
TOPICS OF SELF HARM, INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, DEPRESSION, P!LLZ, SELF HATRED, ECT. IF ANY OF THIS TRIGGERS YOU CLICK OFF OR CONTINUE WITH CAUTION!!!!
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Vent:
the expression or release of a strong emotion, energy, etc.
"children give vent to their anger in various ways"

My friend told me people find me annoying or something else I forgot... But that makes me feel bad because I don't want to be annoying,I wanna be a person someone can talk to, vent for lack of better words, yet people make fun of me for the way I dress, act, ect, and its quite annoying being barked at but I just want to be happy.... Why can't I be happy? I've taken my pills, I've been clean for awhile yet I still feel this pounding guilt that I'm just a nucenes. I feel as if I'm narcissistic at times even though my friends tell me the opposite, I feel guilty for things that aren't my fault, for I don't know why, yet I feel the erge to poke my skin with a knife and watch it bleed, I want to cry or scream or something... I don't wanna be here I want to be somewhere else, be someone else, I don't wish to be me with my problems, for I wish to be something else completely! So I don't have to feel this way... I want to stay in my minds world of imagination and happyness, but no I have to hear things like "I'm annoying" or "just stop hurting yourself" even though I'm TRYING! It's just so fucking hard to do when I feel numb except around people who like me... Why can't everyone like me? I know it's selfish but I want people to care... No one noticed I was hurting.... I wanted help Im trying to show I need help, when I was cutting my skin to try to tell people "I need help" no one noticed. But I'm trying so I have to keep my head up high and all the people who hurt me down below so I can ignore them, I just want help, why can't anyone help?

( I just needed to vent feel free to vent in the comments I'll gladly reply and talk!)
Stay safe!!
♡- Bunni

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