Abandoned

chapter twenty-two.

I woke up the next morning with a grin on my face. Maybe it'd been there all night and now it was frozen in place. I rolled out of bed, late enough that Rose had already woken up and left the room. I walked to the mirror, smiling again when I retraced the events of yesterday.

Ridiculous, I thought. I shut my eyes, breathed, and forced the smile off my face.

I don't want to feel like some giddy schoolgirl. I really shouldn't have even let last night happen: the giggling and kissing and expressing of affection. What does Justin think? Hell, what do I think?

I didn't have time to figure it out before there was a knock on the door, Pattie's voice following suit. "Morning, Rayna. There's breakfast!"

I threw a flannel on over the tank top I was wearing, quickly attempting to comb through my hair with my fingers.

I fidgeted around the kitchen as I put some eggs and bacon on a plate. I'd walked the long way around as to avoid the dining room where Justin was sitting, but now I have no other choice but to go in.

I carried my plate and orange juice into the room and sat where I do on most Saturday mornings, next to Rose and across from Justin. Rose was chattering on about something, but all noise seemed distant as I tried to situate myself without looking up, especially at Justin.

"Morning!" Rose said. "Morning, little one." I smiled at her.

I meant to look back down to my plate, but all the sudden I was looking right at Justin. Maybe I'd subconsciously felt his eyes burning into my head, because he was already staring at me.

A smile crept onto his face, a small but very sincere one. I exhaled a silent laugh and smiled back, looking down to the table but then back up at him again.

"Hey..." Rose said. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." Both of us responded, and then laughed.

Dammit, I'm doing it again. Can I please just stop with the googly-eyes and giggling? It's ridiculous.

I ate quickly, avoiding anymore eye contact, then went upstairs to get ready. I'd decided to go out and do Christmas shopping today.

"Can't I come?" Rose whined as I quickly rubbed some black eyeliner on in the bathroom.

"Well, sure, if you don't want me to buy you any presents." I said.

"But...but...ugh." She pouted, slumping her shoulders.

"How about if tomorrow I take you to do something fun? Yeah?" I offered, grabbing my bag from the bed.

"Okay!" She perked up. I laughed, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving.

I made it out the front door without any sign of Justin anywhere, but as soon as I shut the door behind me it opened right back up.

"Hey, you leaving?" Justin appeared beside me.

"Yeah, Christmas shopping." I nodded, feeling slightly awkward in the situation.

"I wanted to talk, you know..."

"Well, maybe after because I really-"

"Ray." He stopped me. "You can't just keep avoiding me and pretend like nothing's going on."

"Is something going on?" I bit back, unable to come up with anything sensible to say.

"Seriously?" He gave me a look, slightly raising his arms.

"Justin, I know what I said last night but-"

He kissed me. Again, right there on the front porch. He sweeped forward and was holding the side of my face in an instant, holding me there between himself and the brick wall behind me. Why does this keep happening? And why aren't I ever willing to stop it?