Abandoned

chapter nineteen.

Justin

I trudged through the snow, just light enough to cover the ground. It was freezing, but I ignored it as I walked past headstone after headstone, finally arriving at the one I was looking for.

I used my sleeve to push the snow off of it so that the writing was visible, then shook the snow off and took a step back. Glanced back to make sure no one was around.

"Hey, dad..." I started, shoving my hands in my pockets. "I know I haven't come in a while, I've been a little busy with school and..." I trailed off. "Well anyway, here I am."

"So... there's this girl." I half smirked, picturing what his reaction would be if I could see it. He'd grin and hit my shoulder. 'Oh, yeah?' He'd say.

"But things are complicated. I know I shouldn't like her. I can't. It'd never work. We're both too damn stubborn. And damaged. I mean, I'm pretty sure she hates me, the majority of the time, at least. She's so frustrating, but then sometimes she's just the opposite."

'Enough with the pronouns, kid. What's her name?' I could imagine him asking, leaning up against the headstone.

"Ray. Her name's Ray." I smiled, kicking a clump of snow on the ground. "Anyway, I told her about you. About everything. It just got me thinkin', yah know?"

"She met Grams and everyone up in Chicago. They're doing fine. They liked her... you would too. She's tough, not afraid to call me out. No one's been like that ever since you left."

I heard footsteps then and turned, seeing a woman walking a ways down the cemetery. I nodded, probably to no one, telling him I'd stop rambling. I imagined his response. He'd say something about not giving up on something before you try it. I wasn't ready to leave just yet, so I stood there in silence for a while.

Ray

I stood in the laundry closet folding my clothes, and Rose's, in the morning. I heard the front door open and loud steps moving around on the hardwood.

"'The hell were you off doing at nine am on a Saturday?" I said from where I was, knowing it was Justin and that he'd be able to hear me. I picked up the basket of freshly folded clothes, holding it in front of me as I stepped out of the room.

"Nothin'." Justin replied, looking up at me as he peeled his jacket off. His nose and cheeks were bright red and his shoes were covered in snow.

"Trying to get frostbite?" I raised a brow. He shrugged.

"Just doing some stuff."

"Okay?" I said, spinning around to take the clothes upstairs.

Before I could make it to the bottom of the stairs Justin was in front of me, trudging wet snow from his boots in and all. I didn't have time to process a thought before the basket was ripped from my hands, tossed away onto the floor, and Justin's cold lips were on mine.

It was right in between the patio kiss and the thanksgiving kiss. Just soft enough and passionate enough and desperate enough. I knew I needed to pull away, shove him off of me. Just a few more seconds...

His hands were on my face and in my hair and it must have been quite a few moments before I pulled away, pressing a hand on his chest.

"What the hell?" I said, though the tone I'd been going for was lost completely in the unsteadiness of my breath.

He broke into a breathless smile, and my confusion grew. Last time I checked we were still shitty at each other from the coffee shop incident yesterday. And even if we weren't, I still wouldn't understand what the hell is going on.