Abandoned

chapter twenty-eight.

I could honestly start crying at any given moment right now.

I had finished getting ready and ran to the back porch to grab my jacket, deciding to just shortcut it around the side of the house to get Justin and Rose, but I'd stopped before rounding the corner when I heard the two talking. How could I not eavesdrop?

When I stopped, I heard Rose explaining to Justin that our mom was in heaven. I had no idea that she had figured that out all on her own, let alone was capable of doing so. I hadn't even realized she was that smart and observant to be able to determine what she had. I also couldn't deny that it stung a bit that she was telling Justin these things but had never told me.

Their exchange of apologies was sad and adorable at the same time, but what really killed me was what came out of Rose's mouth next.

"I love you, Justin." She said, like it was really no big deal at all. I was shocked for a few seconds, wondering if my own ears or brain were screwing with me.

I'm the only person I'd ever heard Rose say that too, like... her entire life. Not even to our own mother. By the time Rose was old enough to talk our mom had gone off the rails and I did my best to keep Rose away from her, so they had never really exchanged any affections.

Not only had she never told anyone else that, but Rose had always been hesitant with men in general. Too many asshole boyfriends of our mother's, I guess, but I've always been the only one she trusted.

Rose probably didn't see the statement as that big of a deal, but for her to say that... she must have meant it, and it was a big deal to me. For her to finally let someone into her life that she can put trust in. It was like proof that one day she can live a normal life, despite her life so far.

I lay my forehead against the brick of the house, smiling and probably looking like a freak.

"I love you, too, Princess." I heard Justin's voice, and that's when the tears were dangerously close to falling. Just hearing him say that was way too adorable, and I found myself wishing he'd say those words to me.

No, no I don't wish that.

Him saying that would mean feelings, and complications, and trouble. Things I couldn't handle right now. But to Rose, it was innocent and adorable and gave me this giddy feeling that I was trying, and failing, to ignore.

"Ready, you two?" I finally walked up to the end of the porch, just to feel my heart flutter once again when I saw how Justin had Rose cradled in his lap and she had her arms wrapped around his neck in a death grip. Rose jumped off of him and hopped down the steps one by one, shouting "Yeah, yeah, Santa!"

As Justin drove us to the mall, I couldn't help but stare at him from the passenger seat, maybe a bit too shamelessly. I still felt for him about the whole letter from his dad situation, plus how I'd heard him acting with Rose was still making me want to crawl into his lap and kiss him. God.

I forced that train of thought out of my head as much as possible and turned my eyes back to the cars passing by through the window. Today needs to be about Rose... everything needs to be about Rose until I turn eighteen and get our lives pieced back together.

"Rose, I think someone needs to tell Ray up here that it's not polite to stare." Justin grinned. Dammit, I hadn't even realized I was looking at him again.

"But Ray isn't polite." Rose shrugged, causing Justin to erupt in laughter and me to drop my jaw at her response. She giggled now as I faked being majorly offended.

"What?" She grinned, clearly pleased with herself. I rolled my eyes, turning and reaching into the back seat to tickle her. "What's so funny, huh?" I teased. "Does someone not want any of their Christmas presents?"