Abandoned

chapter twenty-seven.

Yep, I had full on kissed him.

I had no idea if this would work, but my reasoning was that it could be enough of a distraction. Sure enough, within a few seconds he was kissing me back and I'm pretty sure he stopped breathing all together. I kept my hands on his face as his whole body relaxed under me.

I pulled away after a few moments, slowly opening my eyes. Justin kept his own for shut longer, but he was breathing normally now and was able to actually sit still. When he finally opened his eyes they were glazed over, like he was desperately trying not to cry.

My first thought was that I am so not equipped for this. I'd grown up comforting Rose whenever she was upset, but a practically grown, attractive as hell guy that I nearly had sex with last night? Not so much.

I also recognized the feeling that I was getting in the pit of my stomach, the one that hurt just to see him this upset and made me want to find out what the cause of it was so I could go punch it in the face. The feeling I've only had about Rose, that I'd never cared enough about anyone else to get. That alone scared the crap out of me.

But I couldn't help it. His face was tinted a little red and his bottom lip was slightly jutted out. He looked like a sad puppy and I couldn't tell if it made me want to cry or to kiss him... again.

"I'm sorry." Justin spoke up, turning away and hiding his face behind his hands. I moved forward, pretty much crawling into his lap, and pulled his hands away. I didn't ask any questions, even though I was dying to know what had him so freaked out, and wrapped my arms around his neck. He tensed up, obviously taken by surprise, but then relaxed and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"It's okay." I whispered, in response to his apology and just in general. He sighed deeply, letting his forehead rest on my shoulder. After quite a while of just sitting like that, in comfortable silence, I pulled away, but kept my hands laced together behind his neck.

"Want to tell me what happened?"

Justin

Not particularly, no.

God, between turning down sex with pretty much the hottest girl I've ever known and now having a breakdown in front of her like some kid, I'm definitely going to need to earn my man card back somehow.

"Thanks for um... that." I said, referring to her magic kiss that had given me back the ability to breath. It was unreal, how easily she was able to calm me down. Even now, the way her arms were hung loosely over my shoulders and her hands were absentmindedly playing with my hair was doing crazy things to me.

"I take that as a no, then?" She raised her brows, the slightest smile playing on her lips. "And your welcome. I knew that when not even Beyonce could talk you down, I had to pull out the big guns. You know, since you're even more obsessed with me than you are her." She was fully grinning down at me now, and I now mirrored her.

"You wish, babe." I said, sounding as cocky as possible and slightly regretting ever telling her about my obsession I had growing up with Beyonce, but c'mon, what guy didn't?

We both laughed, and I admired how she could even make me laugh right now, her ability to drastically lighten the mood and take away part of the ache I'm feeling.

"I used to get them a lot... the panic attacks." I offered once the laughter had disappeared and she was waiting to see if I would say anything. "After my dad died... but it hasn't happened in years."

And it used to take my mom hours to talk me down and you managed to stop it in a matter of seconds, but she didn't need to know that.

She nodded, then turned to notice the piece of paper lying on the ground next to us that I must have carried out here. She tilted her head, looking back at me. "Did it have something to do with him?" Ah, a smart one she is.