Grey's Anatomy - No Time To Die

You Wouldn't Like Me

"Maybe I should treat you the same way you've treated me. Then maybe you will understand how much it hurts."

Meredith was driving Lexie to school, just like the last time. Not a single word was said on their way over. When they arrived at the school Meredith pulled over and turned to Lexie.
"Look at me and tell me that, you are sure."
"I have to—"
Lexie took a deep breath.
"—I'm completely and utterly fine."
Meredith shook her head, she wanted to tell Lexie not to go. In her eyes she shouldn't even have been discharged yet, she probably wouldn't have been if it weren't for Derek. It was not that Meredith didn't want her daughter to be home, because she did. It was because she knew what it was like, pretending to be fine whilst you're not. Self-destruction, that's what it should be called. In the end Meredith decided to remain silent. Lexie took a deep breath before opening the door and she gave her mother a smile before getting out of the car. Meredith watched how Lexie made her way over to the entrance and when she was finally inside, she drove off.

Upon arriving at the hospital Meredith grabbed her phone, to see if she had been paged anywhere. Instead, she saw an incoming message from Lexie.
"The school is suing the hospital."
Meredith paused reading the message a second, a third and even a fourth time.
"I assume you got the same message—"
"—do you think it's true?" Derek said as he approached.
"I don't see why Lexie would lie about it."
Derek nodded.
"How was Lexie—"
"—when you dropped her off at school?"
Meredith took a deep breath before answering.
"The best she could have been."
Derek nodded and as Meredith looked down at her phone another message came in.
"I cannot testify on anyone's behalf."
Meredith turned her phone towards Derek.
"What do we do—"
"—should we tell the Chief?"
Derek shook his head.
"No, as for now it is nothing more than just a rumor—"
"—we don't know where Lexie heard it. For all we know it is nothing more than just gossip going around in the hallways."
"I still think we should inform the Chief, out of precaution."
"Since when are you one to follow the rules—"
"—look, we are both members of the board so technically the hospital is informed."
Meredith shook her head as Derek walked away.

Meredith saw that Alex was standing by the nurse's station, so she made her way over to him.
"Charts?"
Alex nodded.
"Favorite thing about this job."
"Of course, saving lives is just overrated."
They both laughed. Alex finished writing down his sentence and closed his chart, before turning to Meredith.
"Mer—"
"—I have to tell you something."
By the look on Alex's face Meredith could tell that it wouldn't be anything good. He took a deep breath before continuing.
"I overheard a conversation between Shepherd and Torres the other day—"
Meredith took a deep breath.
"—he signed an AMA form."
Meredith nodded and Alex gave her a confused look.
"You knew?"
"No, of course not—"
"—I just knew something wasn't right."
"So, what are you going to do?"
"There is nothing to do—"
"—the damage has already been done."
Meredith's eyes widened when she realized what this could mean for the hospital if there was going to be a lawsuit.
"Mer—"
Meredith took a deep breath before walking off.
"—where are you going?"

Meredith was now wondering through the hallways of the hospital, looking for her husband. She had already paged him a few times, but he was not answering. When she didn't see his name written down on the OR board she decided to go down to the ER and look for him there.
"Grey—"
"—I could use an extra hand with the incoming trauma." Owen said.
Meredith sighed before walking over to him.
"What do you got?"
"There are a few ambulances on its way—"
"—two car crash victims and one with a possible elbow fracture."
"I'll take the elbow."
Owen gave her a confused look.
"Two car crash victims and you—"
"—do you want my help or not?" Meredith interrupted.
Owen nodded.
"How far out are the ambulances?"
"They could be here any minute."
Meredith nodded before walking outside.

As Meredith was waiting for the ambulances to arrive more doctors arrived as well, but none of them were Derek. The hospital was big, but not that big. Where could he possibly be? When the first ambulance arrived both Owen and Meredith rushed over to it, opening the doors. One of the paramedics got out of the ambulance, presenting the case.
"Alexia Shepherd."
When Meredith heard her daughter's name her heart dropped, and she immediately took a few steps back. She watched how Lexie was loaded from the ambulance. It felt like the world was moving in slow motion. Meredith could hear the paramedics, but she couldn't make out the words.

When Meredith saw that Derek had made his way outside, she rushed over to him.
"You—"
"—you did this to her!"
Meredith pushed him on his chest.
"You did this to her—"
"—you signed that form behind my back!"
Derek gave her a confused look.
"Don't act like you do not know what I'm talking about—"
"—you are her father—"
"—you were supposed to protect her!"
Meredith started sobbing.
"How could I have possibly known that she would injure herself in a fall—"
Meredith just started at him.
"—what do you need for me to say, I'm sorry?"
"I need you to be sorry." Meredith said with a shaking voice.
"I would give anything to be able to go back and just pick her up as I was supposed to—"
"—but I can't. I can't go back and change the past. What I can do is change the future."
Derek took a deep breath.
"Meredith—"
"—I didn't because I thought it would be the best thing for our daughter."
Meredith shook her head.
"No—"
"—you did it because you wanted to feel better about yourself."
Derek shook his head.
"Stop acting like it is all my fault, because it's not!"
Meredith gave him another push on his chest.
"Stop acting like you are the victim here—"
"—you sighed that form so yes; this is on you!"
Alex grabbed Meredith's arms, pulling her away from Derek.
"Let go off me!"
Meredith could see tears form in her husband's eyes.
"Meredith—" Derek said as he took a few steps towards her.
"—dude, just walk away."
Derek hesitated for a second but taking another look at Meredith he decided to walk away. Alex wrapped his arms around Meredith, holding her tight. She was sobbing as she realized that the person, she loved most was also the person who had hurt her the most. Love isn't supposed to be easy, but was it really supposed to be this hard?

Alex sat Meredith down on the bench that was right outside of the ER. The two of them sat there for a while, until Meredith had calmed down.
"What happened between you and Shepherd?"
"I just—"
Meredith took a deep breath.
"—I can't trust him."
Alex turned to Meredith.
"You can't trust anyone—"
"—listen, people make mistakes."
"Derek signed an AMA form behind my back and Lexie ended up back in the hospital because of it."
"He shouldn't have done that, but this doesn't put him at fault for what happened to her. He couldn't have known that she would fall or that a shooter would come to her school."
Meredith sighed.
"You have to learn how to forgive instead of pulling away. How would you feel when the person you love most hates you?"
"I don't hate him."
"Then start acting like it—"
"—I know he hurt you, but you hurt him to."
Meredith could feel another tear run down her face.
"You and Shepherd have already been through hell together—"
"—if anyone can make it through it's you two."