Lost in Assistance (Elizabeth Olsen x FemReader)

Ch. 56

A/n: Hi. I would like to say thank you for your prayer and support on you gave me on previous chapter. I really appreciate it. This is another hard and emotional chapter for me to write related to my grief of my my mom passed away. Just like in previous chapter, most of y/n grieving and suicidal thoughts was based on what I felt 8 years ago. This is an angsty chapter, so maybe I shouldn't say Happy reading nor I hope you enjoyed this chapter but you know what I meant. So yeah.. Also thank you Skurczykalamarnica for always helping me brainstorming anytime I need it. :)

Warnings: Lots of swearing words, mentions of homophobic words, mentions of blood, mention of suicidal thought and violence.

After a good hour of sitting in silence with you on the floor with your backs leaning on the end of your mom's bed, Lizzie sits closer to you, wraps her arms around your shoulders and hugs you. You can feel her kiss on the crown of your head. She rubs your right arm. You snuggle more to her.

Lizzie notices the container that's full of your mom's pills. It hurts her looking at it. It reminds her of your mom. She might knows your mom not for a long time but it was enough for her to know that she is a great mom who raises you to be a great person. Then a thought pops in her head. She remembers that you were looking at the pills container. It breaks her heart to think what you were thinking at that time. It scares her of losing you. "Y/n, honey."

A weak hum from you answers her call. "I know what was on your mind earlier when you looked at your mom's pills." She pauses, taking a deep shaky breath. You give no answer to her but she can feel from your body movement that you are sobbing silently in her hug. She tries her best to continue. "I beg you, y/n please, don't give up on life. Stay with me, we'll get through this together. I love you." She talks in a shaky breath and she feels you nod in the crook of her neck.

"Thank you, Liz. I love you too. It's going to be rough for me, for us." You whisper sadly in your sniffling. "I know, but it won't change my mind." She gives the assurance she knows you need the most as more tears roll off her cheeks. She lets go her hug off you and stands up then grabs the pills container. She then goes to the bathroom and flushes every single pill down the toilet. She then walks towards you. You look so empty and soulless. "Come on sweetie, you need to rest. Let's go to your room." She tells you as she offers her hand for you to take. She helps you to stand up. She cups your cheeks with both of your hands and she pulls you closer to her to kiss your forehead for a few seconds as if she is trying to let her love flow to you through her kiss to your forehead.

She walks with you to your room upstairs. You sit down on your bed, not saying a word. She knows you well, she knows how much you want to cry more, or scream your grief out but you can't. She knows it hurts you a lot more. She hands you a bottle of water.

"Sweetie, I'm sure you haven't eaten anything, but I'm not going to tell you to eat because I know it's hard for you right now but please drink some water at least. Let me take care of you. Please?" She looks at you with glistening eyes and a concerned face. You nod and take the bottled water. She goes to your closet and grabs your t-shirt and pajamas pants. She walks towards you, she sees you still sit on the bed with your head facing down. This time only a little bit of tears can come out of you. So much pain and sadness to let out, so little tears and it's the worst torture you ever feel.

She hands you the t-shirt and pajama pants. All you do is just look at her. "I just want you to rest comfortably at least even though I know it won't work or you don't want to but at least we try, honey." She gently suggested it to you. You oblige. You let her take care of you. You are so grateful that she is here with you. She is the only one who can keep you sane, who can anchor you down from following your thought of not wanting to live anymore.