Student Secret

Chapter 12 : Detachment

The following morning, nothing had particularly changed in the dynamic of your relationship between yourself and Maria. No romantic gestures, no lingering hands, no joke impending ardour. To be frank, you were relieved. You didn't want anything to shift and you were almost certain you didn't want something to happen again, yet you couldn't deny you enjoyed it.

You were utterly reluctant to let on what'd happened between yourself and Natasha. Maria was pressing you for an explanation, after all, you'd only just fallen out with your friends. In particular, Maria. You walked awkwardly with her onto campus to meet the other two, questioning wether they'd actually like to see you so soon. Maria assured you it'd be fine and to your pleasure, it certainly was. The girls reverted to normal, Wanda asking you sweetly if what had happened could just be put in the past - to which you happily agreed. This moment of bliss was short lived as Carol and Wanda practically clawed at you in order to move your clothing from the area round your neck. Maria had lathered your skin with dark purple marks which were near impossible to cover. You'd barely tried, but you were sure that no amount of makeup would suffice these possessions.

Maria merely sniggered, winking as you shuffled past her into the door of the lecture hall. Natasha was waiting at her desk, her pen signing frantically on papers and her forehead resting on her hand. The students filed into the hall after you, all taking their seat.
Perhaps she hadn't expected to see you, but her expression read that of much stupefaction. She turned from you, attempting to carry on with the lesson as if you weren't even there. The sight of her conjured an ache within you - something about her was off. She struggled to stay focused and delivered today's material with no such gusto as she'd had every other lesson.

"Has everyone completed today's material?"
Her voice was just a little tone above her speaking voice.
You hung your head, avoiding eye contact with her knowing yourself that you'd been a little pre-occupied last night. You turned to look behind you, noticing Maria staring back at you - neither of you having done the work.
You turned back to see Natasha, taking an exaggerated gulp as she watched you adjust the clothing that surrounded your collarbones and lower neck. Had she seen the marks?

She clasped her hands, leaving her position behind the protection of her wooden desk.
"You haven't done the work, again, Y/N? Or you, Maria?"
You shook your head, embarrassment overcoming you as she scolded you condescendingly before the prying eyes of your judging, teenage classmates.
"No? Maybe if you'd spent a little more time working and a little less time getting excessive 'love-bites' from...whoever - then you'd be more prepared."
You could feel your cheeks turning a deep red, the hushed laughter of other students deepening your mortification. You had no reply - only able to tap your foot and twist your pen between your fingers.

She walked back to her desk, filing papers while continuing to speak.
"Oh and, you might wanna hit the shops after class. Buy some heavy duty concealer to cover that up. Looks like someone took a real bite out of your neck."
The class giggled a little louder, Miss Romanoff dismissing them early and using your 'neck situation' as an excuse.

As you sauntered past, behind the pack of students emitting an ongoing-laughter, she tapped your shoulder.
"Could you stay and talk to me for a minute."
You kept your head down, waiting as the room was slowly emptied.
Natasha locked the door gently, hesitating before she turned to face you.
"Who gave you those?" She spoke at you from the door, unbearable space between you as she slowly closed the gap, stopping an uncomfortable few metres from you.
"I think you can figure that out, and I don't appreciate what you did to me in front everyone."
As she began to speak, you cut her off. You suddenly realise it's foolish to continue this on. It hurts you, it hurts her, and clearly she doesn't truly desire you.

"Listen...Miss Romanoff."
She fiddled with her thumbs, you noticed her chewing on her inner cheek and immediately your chest grew tight. You couldn't hate this more.
"This needs to stop."
She swallowed an obvious lump in her throat, waiting for you to continue.
"I can't do this anymore. We may as well stop while we're in the shallow. I barely know you, you barely know me and you always said this was inappropriate anyways. We shouldn't...I don't know how to word this...see one another from now on."

She seemed somewhat surprised by your request.
"Is this all because of last night?"
"I mean, I don't really know."
You felt an impending guilt consuming you, almost immediately regretting your words from just moments ago.
"Y'know yesterday, straight after you stormed out I-"
"Miss Romanoff, respectfully, I really am not interested in hearing you out. It just makes this harder."

You were becoming more and more choked up as the conversation continued.
"Please? I'm trying to explain to you-"
"Nat, no. I'm sorry, but...I don't want anything to do with you anymore. I think I like you a little too much for this to work."

It appeared that she'd finally accepted your disheartening plea. She grabbed a small slip of paper between her fingers and scribbled messily onto it. Handing it to you with a melancholic tone, she displayed her phone number scrawled upon the torn sheet.
"Incase you need...tutoring."
You took it from her, holding it tight in your palm.
"I'll see you next class, Y/N."

You scrape a half witted smile before leaving, walking at an excessive pace from the room as you struggled to contain whatever dignity remained of yourself. You didn't truly want to cut things off. You were just upset by her humiliation of you and chose to strike back. Though, now, you'd done something quite irreversible.

You needed your friends. Perhaps you also needed to take back what you'd thought about sleeping with Maria being a one time thing. But most of all, you needed alcohol and a night out to drown your sorrows.