Student Secret

Chapter 38 : Tell Her

The following day, you'd decided to halt your wallowing in self-loathe and partake in some events listed in the itinerary. The entirety of the day, you hadn't run into Natasha. You found it strange that she wouldn't be at any of these conferences, though scolded yourself mercilessly for allowing her to cross your mind.

You'd readied yourself for the evening ahead, your eyes brushing your phone as Wanda's goodnight message threatened tears. The guilt was unbearable, so why not stop? You stuffed your phone deep into your pocket before pushing through the door with your shoulder. "Get together : Legal Networking". Riveting.

Another souped-up penthouse function with an excess of alcohol and faux business talk. You didn't mind this so much. Whilst lifting a complimentary glass of champagne between your fingers, you found yourself entwined in conversation with a group of men who were struggling to stay on the topic of legal conversation, whilst you found yourself struggling to care.
You weaved your way round the accessories of the room, every conversationalist gifting you their own insight into topics you'd hardly heard of.

Before long, you'd caught the eye of your keeper. Far across the room, her eyes shot through you, leaving your bleeding on the other side. An arm adorned her waist, a hand decorating her side. You didn't have to look to know who'd be there. She existed in his shadow, crowded round a group of men as he spoke entirely on her behalf.
You exited your own conversation, sliding your glass onto the nearest open surface and speeding out the room. The thumping in your chest was painful and sickening. You held your back against the wall, inhaling deeply as you quietly composed yourself.

Natasha slid out the door just moments later, closing it purposefully behind her and sauntering towards you. She seemed smaller. Perhaps it was her sheepish demeanour, or the fact she'd been caught. Looking at her made you unwell.
"What're you doing here?"
She spoke under her breath, unable to maintain eye contact.
"What? Why am I here? You brought me here!"

Your voice was louder, rougher than usual. She'd hurt you and you wanted her to know.
Sternly, she gave her reply.
"You know what I mean."

There was a lingering silence falling between you, neither willing to break it as she awaited your next move.
"Just go back," finally, you managed "I'll leave."
Some pathetic hidden part of you wished she'd come with you, or return inside with you on her arm. Such childish intuitions were dispelled as you watched her turn before disappearing behind the swinging door. Not even a glance  back.

You crouched in your position against the wall, your head resting upon your palms. Deep breaths.

"Hey."
You faltered momentarily before peeking up.
"I might not be your ideal company right now, but I feel inclined to ask if you're okay. Respectfully so, you don't look it."
Tilting your head back, your neck pressed against the wall, you forced a smile up at your recipient.
"Kate. You always have impeccable timing."

She grinned at you, a toothy gesture of over-compensating comfort.
"I don't need to ask to know who's left you like this. Shall we head in?"
You shook your head, the thought of re-entering the room borderline hilarious.
"I was just leaving."

Kate placed her hand in yours, hoisting you to your feet and dusting off the wrinkles in your clothing.
"Don't be ridiculous. Come on."
Before you could protest, she was guiding you through the entrance and had laced her arm round yours.
"Bar." She stated loudly into your ear.
The event suddenly seemed much busier than previous, proving difficult to move succinctly in the waves of bodies.
No seats were available at the bar, so you found yourself back facing the bartender with Kate leant over you ordering something you'd never heard of before.

Despite the interaction having ended, Kate remained there, her hand planted firmly upon the table. She'd blame the proximity on inability to move, so you knew better than to ask.
"No Maria tonight?"
"She's at home. Waiting."
Kate wore a mischievous expression.
"Waiting for me to come home with you?"
She was now smiling into her glass.
"Unfortunately not. You're off the cards now I know you're taken. Anyways, Maria wasn't best pleased at the revelation."
You lifted your finger to your lips in order to shush the conversation.
"Please, no kicking me when I'm already down."

Kate was good company. If you were someone entirely different you'd see the attraction, though you're merely grateful that you seem to have found a companion.

The function was yet to die down despite leaking into the early hours of the morning. You were sat across a thin table, legs crossed, nursing your final drink as Kate sat before you.
"What is it about her?" Kate questioned.
"Who?"
She raised her brows as if to mock your response.
"Oh."
She failed the fill the following space. You soon realised she was still awaiting your answer. With a sigh, you began.
"I wish I knew. It's pathetic, I'm aware."
Kate's eyes softened. She placed her hand over yours, rubbing your knuckles with her thumb.
"God. She's got you all wrapped up."
"That she does."
The following pause was that of staggered questioning. Anxiously, you awaited what was to follow from Kate's mouth.
"Do you love her?"
Now, it was for you to raise your brow at her.
"I only ask because, well, it's a little different if you do."
You reply slowly, asking "how is it any different?"
"If you don't love her, which I hope is the case, then I'd tell you to pick yourself up and get over it. Wanda wouldn't need to know, it would only hurt her. It'd be a phase, unfinished business and unresolved feelings - that's all."
Your throat was tightening alongside your chest as Kate continued on.
"Although, if you do," she paused momentarily, aware that you knew what would follow "then you have to tell her."