Not So Hot Girls Summer

8

She was sat in the corner of the waiting room in a blue plastic chair when we arrived, looking alone and vulnerable. It wasn't a nice sight to see even if I currently couldn't stand her, but only people without a heart would have been able to ignore her anguish.

''What happened?'' I immediately asked, trying to gage the severity of the accident to understand if her reaction was for dramatic effect or not.
She began to explain how she found him splayed on the ground with his bike crumpled beside him; how he lay motionless as the paramedics tended to him before dragging him into the back of an ambulance, alone.
From her storytelling I struggled to understand the severity, as essentially he fell off his bike, but the way she described him unconscious on the floor instantly made my heart hurt. The thought of him in pain, and with no reassurance that he was ok I just couldn't hold back the tears.

Thankfully, an hour later a doctor appeared in the waiting room.
''Amelie?'' he announced.
This was a good sign. Surely the doctor couldn't have known her name unless Jordan was awake and had told him.
''Could you follow me please?'' he asked.
Amelie peeled herself from the chair before disappearing into the dull distance of the hospital corridor leaving us in a dark, depressing silence.
Whilst at first I didn't think Hot Girls Summer could have got any worse, we had now hit rock bottom. We had only been to one pool party. Our friendship group had broken. And we were now sat in an awkward silence in a foreign hospital waiting for our ex best friend to inform us if Jordan, the possible love of my life (he just didn't know it yet) was going to be ok. On top of that, Caleb had begun to suss me and my interest in Jordan out which obviously wasn't going to end well for both parties. The way this was going, it was going to be me, Mads and her sugar daddy from here on out and even that was looking pretty up in the air as she snuggled into Mike.
I held onto Caleb's arm as the rest of the group appeared to pair up. I may not have been as interested in him as I was Jordan, but I would work on it as he was a nice guy and to be quite honest, I didn't really want to spend the remaining ten days alone.
''Are you ok?'' I asked, showing an air of concern.
''Yeah, I'm fine thank you,'' he replied bluntly, despite allowing me to remain holding onto him.
For the first time since meeting, we remained silent.

Fortunately, Amelie arrived back in the waiting room not too long after she had disappeared with the unenthusiastic announcement that Jordan was ok. So unenthusiastic in fact that she disappeared to the toilet straight after telling us. That shows how much she cared.
Mads looked at me and tilted her head in Amelie's direction, hinting for us to follow.
I obliged, not only to escape the awkward silence between me and Caleb, but to find out how Jordan was really doing.

''Amelie,'' Mads loudly whispered through the cubicle doors.
Of course there was no reply, even though she knew that we knew she was in here.
That was just a form of attention seeking.
''Amelie,'' she said again, this time to be met with a response.
When she opened the bathroom door, she looked an absolute state. I instantly hoped she hadn't lied to us about Jordan being ok.
I allowed Mads to talk to begin with as I waited for the right moment to interrupt and find out if Jordan was the reason she was so distraught.
She went through the motions of letting her know that we were here if she needed anything, which is more than Amelie could say for herself, before diverging the conversation straight off topic from Jordan to the notepad that Amelie had so rudely left behind. I had lost my opportunity. Of course her face instantly dropped when she realised that we had seen all the insults she had written about us, but she continued to take it back from Mads hands as in some sort of relief to be reunited with her thoughts.
''Thank you, did you read it?'' she asked nervously.
''Yeah. Some.'' I replied bluntly, completely unentertained by it all.
''We're sorry,'' Mads responded.
We're f****** what? Why were we sorry? I shot her a look of daggers.
'We didn't realise you felt like that. I knew that me and Frankie were more on the same wavelength (with some things), but we didn't realise that you felt so lonely all the time, nor were you struggling so often. You could have spoken to us Ame. We're not horrible people,'' she continued.

Whatever Mads was doing, it seemed to be working as Amelie's face crumbled even more beneath her tears, almost in shame and embarrassment in response to what she had written about us. It wasn't nice seeing her like this, especially in the given circumstances, but it was a relief to see she was apologetic for her 'thoughts.
Mads continued to try and lighten the tone until she finally cracked a small smile.
It was my time to show I mildly cared.
''Sorry about the timing we know it isn't ideal with what's going on, but we wanted to return it in case you needed it to get those 'quirky thoughts' as you call them down. Anyway, once we know Jordan's ok, we're going to head back to Gili to collect our things then come back to Uluwata for a couple of days. You're welcome to join us if you like,'' I added through a fake smile.
I only offered her the option to come with us to please Mads. I knew she wouldn't anyway. Not after realising what she thought about us.
'Thank you. But I'm going to stick with Jordan. I don't think I have quite as much party soul in me as the both of you two,'' she laughed.
Something we both agreed on.

We left the bathroom for her to sort herself out.
''I didn't expect you to invite her to Uluwata with us. That was a nice thought. Looks like you do have a heart after all,'' Mads said.
I smiled back at her sarcastically.
As soon as we were back in the waiting area, she wandered straight back into the arms of Mike and I returnedback to the seat next to Caleb where his arms remained tightly closed.
Her comment didn't sit comfortably with me. I knew I had a heart. But did my banter really come across that poorly that people now just perceived me as a stuck-up bitch.

''Do you think I have a heart?'' I asked Caleb.
He looked at me bizarrely.
''I don't know. Do you?'' he replied.
I slowly turned away from him and awkwardly resulted to scrolling through the pictures on my phone. Pictures of smiles and happiness, of partying and laughter. I could be harsh, but I wasn't cruel, not looking at these pictures. I was the party goer of the group, the one that made sure everyone was having a good time all the time. The one who didn't give a f*** about who was doing what. So I should have been the one that didn't care if Amelie wanted to leave, or care if Jordan fancied her and not me. I shouldn't have cared if Mads wanted to go explore whilst I wanted to party,
I had always lived by that motto You Only Live Once, so don't give a f***. But within the minute that Caleb and Mads had questioned my kindness, I realised that people didn't view me like that. They obviously just looked at me as someone who was so self-righteous that I didn't care about anyone else. Someone who 'didn't have a heart.'
I didn't know how I felt about that perception of me but it wasn't great.

Mads caught my eye from across the waiting room, giving me another signal that Jordan was going to be ok and that it was probably our time to leave. I followed the cue.
''Are you coming?'' I asked Caleb in hope that he would.
''Where to?'' I asked
''Wherever you would like.''