Honesty is a rather complicated element in a relationship. For example you need to be honest when you ask for something, when you explain something, when you did something wrong, you need to be honest about everything. You need to be honest to yourself to understand you, your emotions, thought, likes and dislikes, all those things. However to Akutagawa, honesty was his worst nemesis.When him and Atsushi first got together, the first thing Atsushi did was talk about his past, the way he was treated, abused, neglected, shamed all that. But to Akutagawa being honest about his past, trauma and his life was difficult for to the older the only person he's ever opened up to is his sister Gin. Atsushi being Atsushi understood the insecurities the other had and told him he could wait until Akutagawa was ready to free his soul and mind.
This process of mentally, emotionally and just logically being prepared took an absolutely long time, he even had to ask Gin on what to do if he broke down, the other just replied with "Then continue to cry, he won't judge you." Akutagawa walked over to the living room where Atsushi was seated on the large couch in the center reading a book. "Jinko," Akutagawa called out as he sat himself on one of the armchairs in the corner, "Hm? Oh hello Aku do you need something?" the precious tiger replied, averting his eyes from the book, "We.. need to talk."
Atsushi confusedly put the book aside and looked at his boyfriend, "About what?" Akutagawa gulped, he tried speaking but a lump formed at his throat, grasping for courage he sputtered out, "A-about... m-my p-past..." Atsushi immediately knew what he meant, he shifted in his seat to hide the excitement, he's been waiting for far too long! "Ok that's alright, you can go ahead and if you need comforting tell me alright?" he smiled warmly and Akutagawa felt himself SLIGHTLY relax.
"Ok... so Atsushi my past isn't really like yours..." he started feeling the lump again, "I myself, Gin and 6 other children were abandoned and forced to live in the slums." Atsushi nodded silently as his lover continued pouring out all the trauma of his past,
"We found out the Port Mafia's secret investigation and when they found out they killed the other 6 kids with us, while me and Gin escaped somehow... Well not for long, Dazai-san found us and took us in? You could say that but not in a lovey dovey way... After that I was under control of him and was trained and abused I guess for so long just to get his approval and congratulations... And... after I heard that you got his approval without even doing something risky got on my nerves since... What did you have that I didn't?" Akutagawa broke down as he finished, he let fresh tears stream down his face, he fell to the floor and sobbed, Atsushi rushed over and pulled him to his chest. "Shh... Ryu it's ok... I'm sorry that you had to go through all that, but I promise to give you joy and everything in between," Atsushi hushed, kissing his boyfriend's crown.
After a while Akutagawa's body and breathing seemed to relax and grow steady, he was listening to the steady heart beat of his tiger and felt himself smile as Atsushi was surrounded with a comforting aura. "Are you ok now Aku?" Atsushi asked, startling the older, "Yeah... Thank you..." Atsushi smiled as he watched Akutagawa pull away, "How do you feel? Free? Relieved?" Akutagawa could only nod before slamming his lips on the other, Atsushi melted in his embrace and wrapped his arms around the other's neck. Akutagawa pulled away after a while for air and gazed into Atsushi's violet eyes, "Thank you," Atsushi gave him the 'no problem' look before pecking his cheek. "But now I have a question Ryu," the weretiger stated, Akutagawa looked at him, "Why did you find it difficult to be honest with your past?"
"I- Jinko..."
"No no I didn't mean to say it like that!"
"No it's fine it's just that whenever I am honest about myself I just feel as if I am lying in a whole other way. Like when I finally accept the truth that I am just another subordinate, I feel as if I am lying to the people in the mafia for they take me as THEIR SUPERIOR."
"Oh..."
"But why are you worrying?"
"So it really is true that honesty is your worst nemesis..."
"No-,"
"Honesty is what set me free."
— — — —
— — — —Yahoo! Another Shin Soukoku oneshot! I swear, Aku deserves best life and respect.
I'm sorry if his past isn't truly accurate I kinda forgot about some details.
Either way I hope you enjoyed this hurt/comfort fluff and sorry if it's short.
BYE!
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Bungou Stray Dogs Oneshots!
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