Seventeen

Chapter 5

(Arjun's)

The fact that I am a hypocrite came as a bit of realization for me on my 17th birthday. It was a bit of a shame for me actually. Because I was so confident and criticized Suhana for being selfish and all. Actually, I was pretty damn selfish as well. Just did not realize the intensity of it.

We do many things in daily life, and do not pay attention if our action is kind of selfish... No, it is not a bad thing. If we do each thing after carefully analyzing if our action will hurt someone or not, then we might end up never doing anything. If we try to please everyone and only do things to please others, we might as well be sad in the end...

But...all of us, daily do things that might be slightly selfish, or just an action to gain something for us... So, I did not really think about my past actions as 'selfish'.

In class 9th, I sat in class looking at how Ishan and Suhana were talking or laughing in the class-time or breaks. I liked Suhana, so it softly bothered me. On the first day of class 10, I sat beside Suhana, to talk to her about something. I saw Ishan walking into the class... Maybe the selfless, right thing to do was to get up and free the seat for him.

But why should I? It was not like Ishan and Suhana were a couple or anything. They were just friends. I was her friend too. So why should I get up and leave the seat for him? Yeah...he might have a crush on her. But I had as well. So... there was no reason for me to get up and leave the seat for him, did I?? So I did not leave. There was no reason for me to vacate that seat.

Like that, I ended up sitting beside Suhana for three years in a row. Yeah, about at the middle of 11th, I did start to get irritated at Suhana and lost that old crush and all. Still, I didn't want to let Ishan or Jiggy sit beside her even in 12th. Maybe...because, even when the childish crush for Suhana was gone, something more serious, something deeper had developed in me for Suhana.

And that something deeper had now, secured its place and dug deep with its roots spreading all over. Now it was not – 'she is pretty; I wish if she was my girlfriend'. Now it was – 'she is my girl, not because she is pretty, because she is Suhana, that selfish, slightly snob, a bit boring brat that fought with me and makes me irritated and worried for her. She is mine and I don't have a doubt about how we will get together someday, will marry, will have kids, and will eventually get old and die with each other...'

Yeah... I was pretty sure and pretty serious about my feelings now. It was she or no one else.

On the morning of my birthday, I stepped out of my apartment to take the newspaper as the door to the twins' apartment opened and Adithi ran out, and I saw Suhana at the door calling out, "buy a Ponds Whitening Cream as well. You know, right, the one in the pink bottle..."

I chuckled. Suhana's face was covered with some green stuff. Face pack.

"Hi, Arjun," Adithi called as she ran. "Happy Birthday... See you at school."

I watched Suhana gasping and trying to hide behind the door.

"I saw you already," I called to her.

She came out from behind the door.

"Why are you scaring people so early in the morning?" I asked, "thought you were an alien."

"I can't actually frown with this thing on... Still, just know that I wanted to frown." She said.

I chuckled.

"Goodbye. See you at school." She ran inside. I laughed as she went, then she came back, "Ah yea...Happy Birthday." She added and ran inside closing the door.