Seventeen

Chapter 16

(Arjun)

I ran and caught her hand. She jerked her hand away from me.

"Listen to me," I said taking hold of her hand again.

Suhana turned to me with anger in her eyes, "Listen to what?"

"I know I behaved like a jerk back there," I told her.

"Then why did you do it?" She asked.

I clutched my head. I was going really mental as well. I was really at my limits as well...

"I am tired of it now..." I said mumbled. And I was really tired of everything now.

"Are you okay?" Suhana asked me, now in a concerned voice.

"No," I said.

Suhana looked calm now. Not angry. "Come with me." She said, taking my hand. She led me to her house. I was a bit confused now. Because as far as I know, her parents were out. Adithi was downstairs, and so...we two alone? In the house??? What's the meaning of this???

"Sit," he said. I sat on the couch. She let her laptop down and sat beside me.

"What's going on?" She asked, in a serious tone.

"Can't you see? A fight is going on." I said.

"I mean with you...What's going on?" She asked.

Yeah... What's going on with me? Nice question. Even I would like to know that.

"I know that we are all stressed because of Farhan. We all miss him." Suhana said. "And it's really really sad. For everyone... That's why all of you are acting this way, I think... Childishly, just letting your frustration out on other things and people..." She said. I did agree with that. I was going crazy thinking about Farhan and feeling bad for him. I wanted him back. But there was nothing I could do to help. Life had torn out a part of us from all of us... And it hurt like hell. That's why...

But for me, things were messed up even before that. Ishan.... Didn't even say one word to me, during this whole event. It's been months since my confession to Suhana, and Adithi's accident. Still...Ishan. Not even a word. What the hell did I do so wrong?? If he was in my position, would he have not done the same or similar???

And now Jiggy as well...

"They think I am a jerk," I said, clutching my head. It hurt... They two were my best friends. But they think I am an asshole.

I felt it was okay at first, to be the bad guy. It felt good to let down my frustration with the other two linings Suhana, on that day. So I freely let my feelings out and pushed Ishan away from her. I had thought back then, it was okay... That he might understand as time pass. Or that I will be okay even if he doesn't talk to me ever. I thought I was okay being the jerk and getting hated by him – them, Jiggy included.

But...that was not the case. Ishan never talked to me after that... And it hurt more than I expected. More than hurting, I was lonely...

After that Farhan went that way... And now, Jiggy as well.

"Those two...just, really..." I felt really like crying. I needed my friends back. But... Those two think I am the lowest creature on earth. "So I just wanted to prove to them that I am."

"What kind of a theory is that?" Suhana asked, "if they think that you are bad, you should prove to them that you are not, right? Instead, what's the point in establishing that you are bad?"

When she puts it like that, it actually doesn't make any sense.

"I don't know. I was angry." I said. "And if they want to think that..go ahead and think that freely."