Repeater Diaries - NEET

A Letter to Lucian

Hey Luce !

This is my last year of this school. I thought we would become great friends . I really appreciate the qualities you have. I am glad to have a classmate like you . Actually, I like you a lot. 

You got my attention since the day I stepped into this school. You're a total gentleman, a husband material. You're remarkable demeanour , innocent face ,cute smile , focused behaviour ,everything about you is so enigmatic . 

Whenever you showed interest in the things that I like , I just love it. Not because I am some creepy girl or something , but your thoughts are so deep . Your words reflect how much of  a thoughtful person you are. I just cannot help myself  when you're around. Subconsciously , I am always aware of your presence. 

I still remember one day that you were absent , although you rarely came to school, the very next day , you came to me to ask what was done on the day you were absent . And I , as usual , was searching for my notebook to brief you about it. And the next thing I know, You were leaned towards me , we were so close. Oh my *ucking God. I still cannot get past that moment . I did not know how I was able to manage myself in that situation (and be in my resting bitch face lol ) I would have literally freaked out if I were there RIGHT NOW. I felt your breath on my neck . I repeat . You were so close to me . I will remember it forever since it was the closest contact we ever had lol

You are soo secretive , I am practically desperate to know about you. Since you are a hell lot of an introvert , do not interact much with many people , but kya krein , dil to baccha hai ji

I don't know what you have gone through , but I think that is the main reason why you do not open up to me. Everyone goes through some kind of shit in their life , not that you tried to play your sympathy card or something but I really wish that you could share what you think with me .

I don't know what you think of me , but I can only hope that my feelings can reciprocate . My best friend Celesty told me once the look you had when you see me . I have oxytocin rush in my entire body lol

I just love talking to you . You motivate me in tons of ways. I can outline an ambitious , loving and devoted partner in you. Your lady-love would be the most fortunate being.

I know you will never get this piece of paper , I am just writing this to vent my feelings out. I don't know if this is a crush or just another infatuation , but I want you to never forget me. 

Just open up to me . I want you to confess what you think about me , I don't care if it's the most terrible thing I will ever hear.

I am so into you     uhh

I am writing this to preserve you as a memory forever. 

I hope you keep staring me always ! (no. just come to me you son o- ------)

Yours

Naysa

(This was the letter I wrote in middle school to my crush . I still think he liked me , but we never really talked about it ever again 😂😂😂aand it was not a thing that you would even want to talk about lol

I was just so excited and overwhelmed and astonished at the same time , because for once I thought that someone did actually have a crush on me , given that people thought I am a bitch 😂😂😂

I am so exhausted today , I can barely think of something to write about right now. I found this in my old diary when I was rummaging through some of my old stuff to find a poem that I wrote about my rival 😂😂😂 in grade 9th . (I am such a weirdo 😂😂)

I literally copy pasted this (with the translation of course) , I know diary , that this might sound cringe to anyone who reads it , I mean it is so embarrassing 😂😂😂. I just relived that day once again . Such a desperate nerdy little kiddo I was lol

I just remembered that I wrote his Insta ID on the letter itself . That nerdy ass did not even used an Instagram after making his account , and neither did I have the strength to become a follower of him without getting a follow back 😂😂😂😂😂😂oh my god ...Enough of the cringe for today.

By the way we are still friends to this date , but we never really talk much.

My dear little Nays - it was really an infatuation 😂😂😂

vo tereko nahi pasand krta tha yaar-   T_T 😂😂

Signing off

Nays 

T_T