Hypnotised

Chapter 14

“I

regret

nothing!”

Al pointed his shaky finger at me, red swollen eyes glistening still in the sombre, depressing atmosphere. “Nothing!” He repeated loudly with a broken voice.

“Shhhhh” I brought a finger to my lips, signalling him to shut up.

“It’s done Al. Be quiet, please.”

---------------------

Two days.

I’m hardly aware of how it all exactly happened but things did get out of control. The calm period, if there even was one, was beyond ephemeral. Soon, he was utterly apoplectic and hurt. In the blink of an eye he was screaming, shouting and throwing his beloved phone across the room. At first, I thought it was that brief moment of exasperation, ‘the meltdown’ people experience when given –or in this case reading- some bad news. A burst of anger just before the collapse, the imminent break down.

I had every reason to believe Alex was going to wallow in his sorrows.

But hell he didn’t.

Contrariwise, his anger increased exponentially with each passing minute and I felt torn between sweetly asking him to calm down and physically forcing him to do so. A mix of both was clearly not the best choice seeing as he perceived my switch of approaching strategies as a sign of weakness and ‘visible incompetence to deal with the matter at hand’ - as he’d very sassily put it .

“Stupid! They’re all stupid Miles. Fuckin’ morons! I have everything, the drafts, the demos... I have them! I could go release them new songs now as my own. I could…I will…I’ll fucking get back at them. How dare they replace me after all…I will. They’ll so regret it.”

I’m not quite sure what the hell I was thinking back then, but I do remember not replying immediately.

Maybe…

Maybe I was just helplessly lost in that atypical gruffly pitch that seemed to tickle his way through your ears, weakening your every defence and making you wanna test how deeper it could get. Eyes lasciviously gazing at his hair, I daydreamed of curling his longer-by-the-minute hair around my fingers and telling him just how pretty such unkempt hairstyle looked on him, graciously framing his delicate countenance. I wanted him to blush the reddest hue of red, giggle in that low cute fashion of his and seek comfort in my arms.

Maybe I just wasn’t taking him that seriously.

Maybe I’m just an idiot in love.

“Al, I approve of your passion for your job but there really isn’t anything to be done. They have all voted and decided to kick you out on the grounds of irresponsible attitude, which is a legally valid argument given that you disappeared without further notice and, well, they still had concerts to play. Fair or not, that’s just how it works but, at any rate, it’s not the end of the world, look…”

Poor wording choice.

“Of course! It’s just so easy for you to say that, isn’t it Miles!? I’ve been working for years to get where I am and now what… it’s all taken away from me? Just like that? Because I didn’t catch a goddamn flight?!?! Why the fuck are you on their side though? You must defend me, I… it’s like I’ve just been slaughtered and you bastard are quietly staring and saying I goddamned deserved it??!?!? You know what…I’m so done with them, with you! You’re totally delusional if you think for a minute that I’m gonna let them stomp over me and get away with this. I’m tired of sucking it all up, of things never going the way I want to. FUCK IT! I'M GONNA SHOW THEM THE APHOTEOSIS OF VILENESS, SINCE THEY SEEM SO FOND OF IT!”