His Unwanted Bride ~Editing~

Chapter Twelve: Tabitha

    'What was I doing?' I am now laying in a warm bath with my back rested against my new husband's chest as he massaged my scalp. What kind of messed up dream was this?
    "I know this isn't real, but I wish I could stay here a little longer," I whispered a little.
    "What do you mean?" he asked me.
    "I'm going to wake up back in my step monster's house. Things like this don't happen to people like me. I graduated early, and busted my ass to make sure on my 18th birthday I could file to take Clarissa and leave," I spoke softly. "I only stayed this long for her."
    "Was it your stepfather who-" he trailed off and traced my scar from my hip to my chest.
     "Yes," I started crying. "I had to protect her."
    "Then the-" he started but I interrupted.
     "He called them 'unfortunate incidents'. The first time he had gotten me pregnant, he threw me down the stairs, and I lost the baby. The second and third times, he forced me to... to-" I sobbed forcefully. I couldn't hold back. Years of pain seeped through me. "They're gone because I couldn't protect them without him taking it out on her. She doesn't know anything."
     "I'm going to kill him," Alexios muttered under his breath.
     "Please, I can't have Clarissa find out. I don't want her to grow up as the 'daughter of an abuser.'"
     "I understand chara mou," he said kissing the top of my head.
     "Just know that I am here for you and I am very much real," he whispered. "You mentioned the cold helping the pain. Are you in pain alot?"
    "I'm just used to it. Some days are harder, but I can't give in to it," I whispered.
    "What would happen if you did?" he asked.
     "It gets more intense, way more. By ignoring the pain in able to block some of it out, it helps me cope," I whispered sadly.
     "You shouldn't have to trick your mind simply so you can 'cope,'" he mumbled against my hair.
     "I've made my peace with it, its alright," I shrugged. "I'd rather put effort into controlling the things I can over mourning the things I can't."
     "I don't know if I could live that way," he mumbled pensively.
     "My whole life has been pain, it's the only way I know how to live," I whispered back.
     "Are you feeling alright, Tabitha?" I felt the world start to fade around me.
    "I'm not s- I don't know," I mumbled in response.
    A voice called out to me, urging me to open my eyes, my body felt heavy, I was unsure of what what's happening. Sommething wasn't quite right.
    "Tabitha," the voice called out to me again. I felt my body slip beneath the water, but I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't move my body upward at all.
    I opened my mouth to cry out for help, but water only filled my lungs, I sank deeper and deeper. "Clarissa needs you, please come back."
    "Where is she?!" I yelled out in fear as I bolted upright to a sitting position in the elevator.