His Unwanted Bride ~Editing~

Chapter Twenty Three: Tabitha

     "I guess that is what made your hatred of me so hard to bear," I mumbled. "I knew you had that kind of tenderness and kindness inside you, you just had no desire to share it with me."
     "Tabitha," he started but I quickly cut him off. I didn't need his apologies or attempts to explain his actions. I was always on my own and I will always be on my own.
     "It's alright. I'm not dumb. I know you only wish to make peace now so that you can have a child with me and make your mother happy. In three years time, you'll want nothing to do with me. That's okay, as long as I still get to see my child and help raise them, though I wouldn't be able to give them the life you could. My only ask is that when you rid yourself of me, you don't do the same to Clarissa, she really likes you," I spoke softly, scooting away from him.
    "I'm not going to-" he started but I interrupted again.
     "Alexios, it is okay. You were forced into this marriage to appease your mother. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have the chance to find real love, someone who lights up your world and makes you feel happy. That's not me," I whispered.
    "How do you know you don't make me happy?" He asked.
     "I can see it in your eyes," I spoke raising my hand to his cheek. "Every time you look at me you have this stormy expression. Like the very idea of me disturbs you, like it pains you to be around me. When I look into your eyes I see pity, and guilt. Not the warmth of affection. I know you feel something for me, but it's infatuation. It what drove the passion behind that kiss. But if you knew the real me, and the darkness that surrounds me, you would run for the hills."
    "Tabitha," he spoke painfully, unsure of what to say.
     "You are a good man, with a good heart. Don't punish yourself by trying to waste that on me. I'm not worth it. I'm just the slut that sold three years of her life for $10,000," I spoke firmly.
     "Don't talk about yourself like that," he spoke, upset.
     "Why not? You did," I retorted. The anger, pain, and humiliation I felt bubbled back up in my chest. My heart pounded in my chest and the heart monitor started to go crazy again.
     "Tabitha, you need to calm down," he  spoke. He was at a loss for words he stood up from the bed sensing I needed a bit of space from him.
     "Don't tell me what to feel!" I yelled. "You can boss me around, force me to do things, but you cannot tell me how to feel Alexios. You were just as forced into this as I was, you had a chance to treat me as a living breathing person. Instead you 'punished' me further. You only proved to me that you could treat me as badly as everyone else does. The sad thing is, you were the one person who hadn't known me long enough to hate me. I actually had a little inkling of hope that I would get to finally meet the man who showed me that not everyone was as fucked up as the people in my life excluding Clarissa were. But it turns out you had the same potential for cruelty."
    "I-I didn't mean to make you upset all of a sudden. I'm not sure what I said," he mumbled, scratching the back of his head.
     "I have spent so much of my life suffering and working towards one goal. I graduated highschool two years early and worked in secret so I could provide for myself and Clarissa when I got her out of there. Turns out I couldn't even do that right," I wept angrily.