Deceiving Destiny

Chapter 22: This Must How Anna Felt When Kristoff Called It Quits

Chapter 22: This Must How Anna Felt When Kristoff Called It Quits

"Remember, I'll be sitting here at my car waiting for you. If he ever did anything to you, anything at all, just scream and I'll be there princess. I'll make sure he never get to see the light of the day. Are you sure you don't want me there? You could use some support."

I rolled my eyes at the way Tyler's acting, his hands fumbling at the loose thread in his frayed jeans- a sign that he was nervous. I couldn't blame him, I'm way beyond queasy- the weight of what I was supposed to do pulling me down. Did mother feel this way when she prepared herself to leave Dad? Ripped his heart open? I hope this would be the first and the last time I'll ever do this.

"I'm sure," I held his hands in mine, willing him to look at me. Tyler let out a sigh of defeat, his face telling me so much more. "I need to do this alone. If you're there, Nate would think we're ganging up on him and that I'm doing this to humiliate him- to take revenge on him maybe." I shushed him when he was about to protest. "I owe him for taking me in when nobody else did, he could do better than me." I admitted, Nate's smiling face filling my mind.

Tyler remained silent, he pressed my hand in answer. I was glad that he understand, it's the truth- Nate deserved so much better than me. We weren't supposed to be together in the first place, he knew I was far gone even before he pursued me- I was broken and he wasn't, look at what it did to him. I gave him a small smile before kissing his forehead then got out of the car.

"I mean it, just scream and I'll be there princess."

I laughed, he was unbelievable. He was acting as if Nate would hurt me, if anything I would be the one that would be doing the hurting- that dampened my mood. Giving him a reassuring smile, I tread towards the loft that once became my refuge.

***

I can do this. I wiped my clammy palms on the jeans Tyler bought for me, repeating the words I'd been dreading to tell Nate- the words that I know I should've told him a long time ago. I could feel the pizza we ate rising at the base of my throat, a reminder how cruel I'd be after this whole ordeal.

I tried not to dwell on the guilt that was slowly eating me away as I recall how relieved Nate sounded when I finally had the guts to call him, he sounded like he hadn't properly slept for the past hours and I hated myself for being unfair to him. He told me he was sorry for acting the way he did and that he was supposed to be on my side but he fucked up. I choked out a sob as I listened to his whispers of forgiveness, beating myself over the pain I'd put him through and would be putting him through if I didn't end this soon.

My fingers lightly traced the cold edges of his crisp white door, putting into memory the countless of times he'd kissed me against it and the countless of times I ran outside the same door, crying and devastated. Life with Nate wasn't all about weeping myself to sleep and waiting for him to show up in the middle of our dates, we had our best moments- he made me laugh a lot, save me from myself, and those our the times I never regret ever meeting him. But the thing is, the more he stayed with me, the more he lose himself- the farther he became, the farther we grew apart.

Steeling myself to what I was about to do, I knocked on his door three times and waited for him to answer, all the while listening to the sound of my thumping heart.

The door opened not after a minute ago, Nate's rumpled outfit greeting me, evidence of how worried he'd been. I'd never seen him looked like this, he was always properly groomed- always commanding control.

"Thank God you're here Mads, I was so worried when you stormed off like that. Don't ever do that again."

I took a step towards him, my hand involuntarily reaching for his face, wanting to wipe off the lines marring his handsome face. I caught myself at the last minute as I realized what I came here for, I shouldn't led him on.