Identity [FINISHED]

(25) Non-Binary?

Welcome back! Read the authors note at the end for more information on the book. Thank you all for reading and commenting. I didn't know you guys missed the book that much. I do have notes at the bottom about what I originally planned for this book. Make sure you read my other book called good days. I really love updating that book. Please enjoy this update and don't forget to comment, vote, and enjoy.♥️ sorry for any typos!

Also, it's a little bit too late to say this but...

Happy New Year.♥️ I hope it's been treating you well.

Owen

Usually love would be confusing to me. Lust wasn't far away from the confusion but I knew where I stood with it. Beyoncé and I had some sensual and sexual moments and for those to be playing in my head while we were driving... it seemed almost unbearable. Solange would look back at me and make sure everything was okay and I would tell her that I was fine but everything wasn't fine.

I was still dealing with an identity crisis. The thought of calling myself Onika again makes me sick to my stomach. Not because I didn't like it, but because of the reaction I would get from other people. It seemed like someone like me would be in fiction or cartoons. But, here I was in the real world, dealing with the problem I had tried to keep a secret. Now, I have a girlfriend who knows more about me than I was originally planning to tell.

Does it make much sense to me? No. Did I feel the need to run away from her every chance that I had gotten? Yes. I truly did love Beyoncé but no matter how I felt I needed her to know that I couldn't be the man she originally thought I was.

"Owen," I heard Beyoncé softly call. I looked up to see her rubbing my leg with concern. The car had stopped at a gas station nearby and the pair looked so scared for my well-being I couldn't tell them it was going to be okay. "You doing okay?" I nodded.

"Yeah." The dry response made her sigh.

"Solange, can you fill the car up?" I only pictured Solange nodding before going inside the store. Beyoncé turned to me, looked into my eyes and sat in the backseat with me.

"I'm just scared," I admitted. "I'm scared that I'll keep going through this identity crisis. I like being Owen and I like being Onika." I wish there was a word for feeling like this.

"You don't have to settle on just one baby. You can be who you want to be."

"You know, you can always identify as non-binary?" Solange butts in as she goes to fill the car up with gas.

"Non-Binary?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

"Yeah. Since you're intersex, it's up to you whether you would like to be called a female or male. Or, you could technically be called both. Non binary is when you feel like both genders or you can feel like you're more than just those two genders." While Solange explained, I gripped Beyoncé's hand in hopes of getting some type of comfort in this situation.

"I'll have to do more research... I'm not sure who I am as of now."

"That's perfectly okay."

Once everything was situated, we were back on the road. I was feeling a little bit uneasy. Non-Binary? I could be both genders? I feel like both. But what if that's not who I'm supposed to be? Why was it all so confusing to me?

What if I wasn't meant to be this way?

It's times like these where I wish I was never born. I knew my mother would accept me for who I was. But I had a girlfriend and although with her support, could I be the man she originally fell in love with? Could I be Owen? Should I be Onika?

It was only a matter of time before I drove myself crazy.

()

Arriving back at the house was something I originally never planned to do. Here I am, sitting with the two people who even dared to speak to me in the first place. Solange and Beyoncé. They were worried for me.

And to be honest, I was worried for myself.

"Are you okay?" I could hear both of them as the same question. I only nodded.

"I just need some time alone." I stood up, walking towards my room as I thought Beyoncé would trail behind me. But, she didn't.

I kept thinking about what Solange told me. Non binary...

The same questions clouded my head. They took over my mind until I eventually laid down, drifting in and out of sleep.

__________

READ!!!!

Welcome back! I know this update was short but I had to get my point across. The reason this book wasn't updated because it originally was finished. I knew some of you wanted an update and I couldn't help but feel bad. Happy New Year to all of you and I hope it's been well. Sorry for any mistakes you see. I can't say if I'll be updating frequently or not but just know I did this update out of love for you all. ♥️

Also, someone corrected me on what Owen is. Owen is intersex. When I originally wrote this book I was still very much uneducated on what terms to use. So that's what I wanted to make clear.

How was it?

Do you think Owen should identify as Non-Binary?

Do you think Owens dad is going to eventually leave him alone?

How do you feel about this book?

If it was the end, do you think there should be a sequel?

Who is your favorite character and why?

How was your day?

What is your favorite book of mine?

Should there be more updates?

Until next time!♥️

~Daddy