Identity [FINISHED]

(23) I'm not okay with myself

Short chapter !🚨 sorry for mistakes!♥️

Onika

It would be so much fun to tease Beyoncé in more ways than one but seeing how angry she got at breakfast really scared me a bit. She was now straddling me... kissing all over my neck and twisting my nipples through my t-shirt. We were teasing each other... nothing too big. That was until a moan escaped her lips and right after, Solange came bursting in only to see her naked from the waist up.

Solange crosses her arms and smiles. "You two are couple goals and all but... get both of y'all feminine asses up... put on a bra and let's go watch this movie." Beyoncé's eyes remained on mine and she kissed my lips before grabbing my penis ever so slowly. I bit my lip so hard I thought it was going to fall off.

"Alright I'm coming..." she says. She gets up and puts on a shirt. I stared at her as she bit her lip at me. Goddamn she was so fine.

I got up and headed where the little living area was and smiled as Beyoncé motioned for
me to sit on her lap. I sat in her lap, only for her to start kissing my neck. Usually I'd be doing this to her but I felt different. What did she do to me?

I stopped her actions as soon as I saw Solange. Solange just shook her head, she wasn't even surprised that we were doing this right now. We all got on the couch and turned on a movie. As the movie began, Beyoncé started kissing on my neck.

"Stop baby," I whispered. She smiled against me. She proceeded and I could hear Solange laughing in the back. I don't know why she was entertained by this.

I didn't want to submit to Beyoncé and I'm pretty sure my character won't let me either. Being Owen means being the protector and being masculine. Being Onika... that's so much more than I could ever handle. I don't think Onika could ever dominate Beyoncé.

"Let's skip this movie and go to our room." I nod at her words and let out a sigh as we both went into the room. I don't know if this game was still on or not but I didn't want to crack either way.

I stood against the wall as Beyoncé toward over me. She panted as I looked into her eyes, scared of what she'd do to me. I don't think I've been in this position before...

"You okay Onika?" She asks me.

"I'm fine. I've never been better." I waited for her to reply but all she did was let my hair down. I smiled... a pink tint immediately spread throughout my cheeks. I need to stop blushing. It makes me look stupid.

"Don't be so shy. I thought you could trust me," she said. I looked up into her eyes, letting her see the blood rushing to my cheeks. My ears heated up and I felt my throat was on fire. Why was I being so nervous all of a sudden. I'm supposed to be having her up against the wall and making her horny. It's not supposed to be like this.

"I do trust you... I just..."

"Never let someone take complete control?" I nod as I looked at the bed. She sighed. "Well if you don't like me taking control I could... let you do it."

I didn't want to think this way. I wanted her to be in control too. What's wrong with me? Next thing I knew I started to shake... I was crying on the floor and I couldn't stop.

Beyoncé came over to me and immediately hugged me. She rocked me back and forth like a baby. "You're gonna be okay baby. Take as much time as you need. I'll always be here."

She must get tired of me. I feel like I'm not okay with myself. There's this constant battle of trying to find my identity. Who am I? Onika or Owen? No one should have to choose for me and I shouldn't be making this decision in the first place. This just shows how fucked up I am.

"What's wrong?" Beyonce asked me. She kisses my forehead slowly as I sniffled. The floor was a completely unnecessary place to be sitting but...

"I'm not okay with myself. You shouldn't have to love both Onika and Owen. It's very confusing."

"Owen..." Beyoncé started. She grabbed my hands and kissed both of them. "I love every part of you. No matter who you are I will always love you. You're not allowing me to and by being out of your comfort zone scares you. Just trust me baby. We'll wait some other time but please... I'm not choosing Owen or Onika. I'm choosing both. It's who you are and I'm going to accept it no matter what."

"It isn't too much on you. I should be sure of who I am."

"You don't have to be sure about a damn thing. You've went through so much. Give yourself a break and stop thinking about what others think," she says to me. She picks me up and lays me down on the bed. We stare into each other's eyes and her lips soon touch mine.

"I love you Beyoncé."

"I love you too Onika... and Owen." I laughed as soon as she said both of my names.

"So are we still doing this little 'who's going to crack first' thing?" I asked.

"I don't know, do you want to?"

"I'm not sure."

"We don't have to."

Beyoncé's phone starts to ring in the middle of our conversation. She looks at me as she answers the phone. For a few seconds I looked at her face and saw nothing... and then as she hung up... I knew something. I rushed over to her and grabbed her hands.

"What happened?" I asked her.

"Your dad knows where we are... and he's looking for you."

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Oooo Anyways. The dad makes an appearance in the next chapter! ♥️ sorry for any mistakes I didn't proofread at all!

It took me awhile to write and update. I guess I had writers block.

What do you think of this chapter?

Onika's mind is putting her down... do you agree?

Owen or Onika?

What do you think of Owen/Onika in this chapter?

What about Beyoncé?

Predictions on what's happening in the next chapter?

See ya in the next update!!♥️ Bye my babies!🥰

~Daddy