Delinquents : The Thirteen Contenders

Thirty Three : Unexpected Revelation

Lee Chan's POV

"Are you sure they'll be with you forever? What if they found out your past? Some had already did that's the reason why they despite you. Kill them Chan, kill them."

A voice has rang through my head as I opened my eyes, gasping for air.

I felt like drowning in an ocean. It felt like you were fighting for something that you don't understand.

I feel numb.

I sigh at my thoughts as I stare at my body, covered with bandages. I didn't know how to feel honestly, it felt like I would die here any minute.

But...

what if I earn their trust and break them?

Like how they broke me...

I smiled at my thoughts as I try to control myself. I know what's the difference between good and bad but why does it feel so good to do something bad?

I became sick upon sacrificing myself, I'm sick of giving everyone a chance for their happiness.

But, they made me feel happiness..

will this freedom make me feel happiness? Or being getting along with them will make me happy?

I sigh at these thoughts as I felt like I wasn't in control. Everything felt numb again as if it brought me back to my past.

That sweet kid that everyone looked up unto and waited for, became cruel and different. That boy who once made everyone laugh now can make them cry, kneel and beg for mercy.

Is it really satisfaction I want? Or is it acceptance?

"Chan?"

My thoughts were interrupted by the door opening as I quickly receive a group hug by those who came inside.

Jihoon, Soonyoung, Seungkwan, Vernon, Mingyu and Wonwoo. These were the people who hugged me.

I can see Seungkwan and Jihoon tearing up as I couldn't understand my current feeling. I can see Seokmin smiling at me as he waves his hands before ruffling my hair.

Jihoon hugged me tightly as he seems like he will never let go. He never really showed such feeling so I wonder, what am I to him?

He seems familiar yet someone I would rather forget at the same time. My head seems to ache when he's around but I love him for helping me.

"Don't leave me ever again." He whispers.

It felt weird as I didn't understand his choice of words. Leave? What does he mean? I never left though.

"I won't" I whispered back as this was the only proper response I could give.

"Chan! If you didn't wake up I would have kneeled towards Vernon!"

"Don't you do that every night-"

"SHUT UP VERNON! NOT THAT TYPE OF KNEEL!" I could feel laughs around the room as I smiled at sight.

Everyone seems happy

Everyone but me..

This happiness is only temporary, this happiness is only temporary.

But am I at fault for wanting this permanently?

"How are you?" Wonwoo went up as Mingyu began organizing the pills I will be drinking.

"Okay, I guess? Still alive though." I said as he nodded in response.

"Take care of yourself, will you?" Seungkwan annoyingly spoke as I nodded.

"We'll leave first, Seungcheol texted me." Soonyoung said as I nodded bidding their goodbyes.

Before Jihoon left, he grabbed my hand as he stared deeply into my eyes I felt like being examine as I didn't move.

"Are you really okay?" He asks me as I could see concern in his eyes. I smiled at him as a tear escape from my eyes.

"I don't know."

He hugged me tightly as he allowed me to express myself. My tears fell as I started breaking down.

"Calm down Chan." He whispers as he just let me cried even more in his touch.

"We're here, not as your group but as your brother."

"Will you still be there even if I couldn't control things anymore?"

We look at each other confused as we didn't understand each other.

"Of course Chan, we're your brothers."

But will I be able to call you my brothers if things didn't go as plan?

"Thanks." I said as he smiled at me. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"

I hum in response I nodded at his words, as I thought I would finally get some peace, the door suddenly opened revealing Jeonghan.

"Everyone believed in you and not me!"

"then stop attacking the innocent." I spoke as he glares at me. The atmosphere was filled with tension as I didn't give any reaction to his shouts.

"You became strong now huh? Because of what? Because you're confident that everyone's by your side? How funny that a person who lost everything and was fully taken over by greed now at the same team as I am. How are you so confident for killing my father?!" He cries as I clench my fists.

"I DIDN'T KILL HIM, MY FATHER DID!"

"SAME BLOOD MY DEAR CHAN, NOW I WANT JUSTICE!"

"THEN KILL ME, LIFE IS TOO CRUEL TOWARDS ME AND AS IF I WAS OKAY TO BE ALIVE? IF YOU GUYS LEFT ME THEN YOU COULD HAVE YOUR PEACE SINCE I WAS PLANNING ON COMMITING SUICIDE!"

"BOTH OF YOU ENOUGH!"

Seungcheol went inside as he threw a knife in between us as it went through the walls.

The tension didn't calm down as I could felt anger inside of him. I couldn't blame him, my family's messed up.

"Are you happy Chan?" He asks as I could see tears in his eyes. Seungcheol watches us as I stare at him signalling him to stay at place.

"Are you happy for killing him? Shits came because of that, you saw it Chan. I liked you at first but my heart couldn't help but ache knowing my father's death is because of you." He glares at me as he held unto my shirt.

"I want to kill you for my happiness but people would call me selfish but am I still selfish for wanting justice?"

I stayed silent as I could see Joshua running inside to pick his twin up. Joshua glared at me before leaving as I was left with Seungcheol hyung

"Care to explain, Chan?"