XXII

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XXII: Culpability

XXII: Culpability

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Guilt.

It was all I felt for the past week sitting at the side of Kenzi's bed in the new house. Mateo had a man named Dr. Henson who apparently worked under him on call along with a critical care nurse named Elise. She barely had to check on him because I never left the room if I didn't need to.

Mateo hated the fact that I was doing this and often forced me to get in bed or carried me to the room if I fell asleep.

I felt like I was responsible and Kenzi wasn't the nicest but I was beginning to see he was just a little misunderstood and maybe neglected. Much like Mateo but a lot more extreme.

I'd spent my day rotating him to prevent bed sores, which was a struggle considering how much bigger he was compared to me. Emptying the bedpan the tube connected to his bladder was in and reading. Elise did his tube feeding and checked everything else.

The door cracked opened causing me to look away from my book and see a worried looking Bea at the door. She walked in and closed it behind her and turned to me.

"Hi." She says pushing her long dark hair from her face. "Hello Bea." I say and gave her a small smile. She looked towards his ventilator and monitor with worry before sighing lowly.

"Is uncle Kenzi going to die?" Her little eyes began to tear up and my heart drops. "Oh no baby don't cry." I stood up walking over to give the child a hug and she returned it almost immediately.

"Kenzi is going to be just fine, sweetheart. He's getting better everyday." I continued to sob into my sweat shirt and I had no idea what to do. I'd never been around many children other than Dinah's son.

After a few more minutes she calms down and wipes her face.

"Do you want to talk to him? He might be able to hear you." She nodded walking over to his bedside with me.

"Can you help me up?" Her cute voice stated and she held her arms up, she a little over half my height and she was only a toddler.

I hesitantly lifted her up and her on my lap and she placed her hands on the edge of his bed to get a better look at him. Her small hand runs over his forehead to move his overgrown hair and he opens his eyes. Bea gasps and jumps a little in surprise.

"It's okay he can still open his eyes, he just can't communicate with you." I say calmly and she nods in understanding.

It freaked me out the first time too until Elise explained everything was normal.

"I know you're asleep but you have to wake up... you never miss my recital and daddy is coming." Bea says grabbing his tattooed hand, she talked to him for a bout 10 minutes.

When she decided she was done she looked at me. " Thank you for taking care of him." She says and before I could reply she continued.

"I think it makes my daddy jealous. But I know he loves you so he will be ok." My heart tightened and my breath caught in my throat. He loves me?

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