𝔇𝔢𝔣𝔦𝔞𝔫𝔠𝔢 (𝔏𝔢𝔳𝔦 𝔵 ℜ𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯)

XVII - Breaking Through

"Will do."

***

I couldn't sleep that night. I tried, but nothing worked. My mind was overrun by everything, processing everything over and over like a broken record. I laid on my side under the covers, my hand acting as a makeshift pillow as I stared at the once again unoccupied side of the room.

The sound of a blanket rustling seemingly echoed through the room as I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, not taking my eyes off Isabel's bed. I tiptoe to her side of the room, running my fingers along the neatly made bed and sat down on the floor next to it. I let out a heavy sigh as I lean my back against the edge of her bed.

"I wish you were still here." I murmur to myself and let my head fall backwards into the bed. "You, Farlan and Sam. I feel so empty without you guys here."

"Y/N?" I hear a knock at the door, fully aware of someone wanting my attention but I remained unresponsive. "I know you're in there, Sunshine." The door knob twisted and Hange peeked through the small gap that was made in the doorway. She watched me stare at the roof, unwavering sadness set on my face.

"Oh, Y/N." She pouts as she walks in and quietly closes the door behind her, moving to my side as cautiously.

"What am I going to do, Han? I've known Sam for six whole years. And now I have to live the rest of my life without him? Without them?" I ask her.

"You'll manage to cope, Sunshine." She answered with a sigh.

"How do you know?" I ask gently, genuinely curious about her unspoken past. She shrugged.

"I'm not sure actually. I don't remember anything from my past." She chuckled lightheartedly. I furrow my eyebrows at her response.

I couldn't imagine not remembering anything from my past. How I came to be who I am today, my parents, siblings, childhood memories.

"I do, however, get flashback episodes whenever I think too hard or hit my head." She cups her chin with her hand. I raise an eyebrow and look at her in question.

"Anything solid?" I ask. She shook her head.

"Sadly, no. But my past doesn't matter." She exclaims happily. "Because I'm here now with the people who matter most."

"Heh, well I suppose." I look down at the ground. She looked at me as my face fell slightly.

"You should get some sleep." Hange suggests. I huffed.

"I've tried. Everytime I close my eyes all I see is them." I admit. She sighed.

"Hop in bed, I'll stay with you for as long as you need." I shook my head.

"You don't need to. Go get some rest, Han." I urged. She raised an eyebrow before she grunted standing up. Thinking she was leaving, I watched her confused as she walks to my bed. She lifted the covers and dumped herself in them, burying nearly her entire figure in the blankets. She reached up to her glasses and pulled them off, laying them on my nightstand.

"I'm staying here with you, whether you like it or not. Either you sleep on this bed with me or you stay on the cold, uncomfortable, aging, dirty floor for the rest of the night." She says shifting to a more comfortable position. I rolled my eyes and let my head fall back onto the bed once again.

"Make yourself at home." I murmur, closing my eyes. Unknowingly, darkness was picking at me bit by bit until I eventually slipped away into the imaginary inevitable.

And as I rode into the oblivion, the rain wet my face as did the sweat from my pores. A thick fog settled atop the lands that surrounded me. Large humanoid figures concealed by the foggy blanket that warmed the earth with despair.