𝔇𝔢𝔣𝔦𝔞𝔫𝔠𝔢 (𝔏𝔢𝔳𝔦 𝔵 ℜ𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯)

XCVIII - On Her Behalf

tw: mentions of molestation, assault and planned murder 

"Let's get our weapons ready, and go to Shiganshina." 

***

Maybe, just maybe, I glimpsed a look in the raven's eyes.

Ever since his birthday, ever since I had learnt of his past at midnight, there'd been something lingering behind those irises of his. Something, like the look of remorse or a sense of doubt that hung around those sapphire eyes of his, though I could never quite figure out what caused such a subtle negativity. 

I glanced at him as we rode home from Trost, his horse carrying him a little further ahead of the rest of us. He seemed indifferent but I knew that wasn't the case, and I'm sure he knew I sensed it too. I considered asking him about it multiple times, but pushing someone to spill information that wasn't wanted to be recalled was never good, therefore I never urged him to tell me what was on his mind. But whatever it was, it clearly bothered him, and I intend to find out soon. How? Not sure, but all I can do is hope he'll share what's on his mind and if he shuts it down, I'll leave it at that. 

Connie and Sasha both asked Eren questions about the mission, expertly avoiding any type of increase in volume due to Hange's presence being amongst the squad. Eren did his best to answer the questions, keeping detail minimal but satisfactory which seemed to keep their curiosity at bay. Jean, Armin and Mikasa all just listened in, Jean trying not to make it obvious that he was eager to hear all about the task that happened just a few hours prior. Armin added his own questions, also mindful of his volume to avoid an information overload from the glass eyed brunette who rode beside the raven ahead. 

She didn't have any clue as to what the conversation behind them was, which was admittedly better for the squad. Hange spoke to the raven who looked as though he didn't mind her company, likely keeping his mind off whatever it was that lurked in his head. 

"Say, Y/N, how long have you been in the military for?" Connie asks, effectively gathering my attention as I pin my eyes on him in surprise. 

"How'd this conversation come up?" I ask with a grin, watching as the boy thought about it for a while. He opened his mouth like he was about to say something before closing quicker than it opened, turning to the squad so fast I was surprised he didn't get whiplash. 

"How did we come to this topic?" He asked, Jean snickering on his horse while Sasha and Eren rolled their eyes. 

"We were literally just talking about who had been in the military longer out of the Captain and Y/N, and I told you it was Y/N but you refused to believe me," Eren replies casually, closing his eyes for a few long moments before opening them and facing forward again. Connie turned back toward me with haste, surprising me once again with his resistance to whiplash. 

"That's right! How long?!" He exclaimed, the sudden increase in volume gathering the attention of the Captain and the Section Commander just ahead of us. I recall many memories from my time in the military, from when I first joined the Cadet Corps, to my first expedition, to capturing the original trio from the Underground, my time in the Garrison regiment, the fall of Maria, the breach of Trost and so on. Everything felt like it had happened yesterday despite most of it happening literally years ago. 

"I think I've been in the military for about twelve years now," I answer unsure, soon hearing Hange hum loudly from the front. 

"Correct! We've been in the military for the same amount of years, but get this," she turned in her saddle to face the squad with a little more enthusiasm in her movements. "Y/N here is responsible for Levi's capture from the Underground so without her, we likely wouldn't have good ol' Shorty here with us today!" Levi's look of curiosity dissolved and turned into a deadly glare aimed directly at the woman who soon began explaining a terrible version of the raven's capture, the kids practically shouting questions at the three of us.