Walk With Me 1

27

Nicki

I hold Jazz up to put the star at the top of the tree.

Beyoncé hit 5 months on the day of my birthday. Because she's pregnant, I insisted to just have a dinner at home this year. Robyn, Ariana and a few friends came it was great.

"Baba, look!"

"I'm looking!" Beyoncé struggles to take pictures a few feet away from the tree of the two of us.

We spent all damn day decorating and preparing.

I don't put my daughter down as we all decorate the tree. I cooked and Beyoncé's watching the slow cooker to make sure it doesn't cook over.

Beyoncé takes the last picture and continues putting the silver and white ornaments all over the tree. After, we put on the craft ornaments that Jazz made with her little drawings on them.

It's heartwarming and a little sad to put them on the tree. I mean it's a reminder that she's growing up so fast. Like she can draw pretty well now and write and she isn't in school yet. I don't want her to grow up, and I don't want time to fly.

Beyoncé takes a few steps back and rubs her growing belly. She looks so pretty with that pregnancy glow.

"I wanna hug baba now."

I hold her and she hugs Bey tight.

"I love you, my star."

"Me too."

I look around the newly decorated house and smile. Growing up my parents didn't really give a shit about Christmas so I make a thing about making it a big deal with Jazmine so she can walk away with great memories in the future.

Jazmine struggles to get out of my arms to turn on the train that goes around the tree. It has classic Christmas characters like Santa, elves, reindeer, and Mrs. Claus. She smiles wide as it turns on and it slowly moves around the tree. We even have a white tree skirt to make it look like snow and a little snowy town.

My daughter is dressed in some Christmas pajamas.

I cannot express how warmed my heart is.

Bey is an absolute beauty under the glow of the lights everywhere. She's my beautiful woman and it absolutely shocks me everytime I remind myself.

She's told me many times that because of the loss of her mother and sister at such a young age, she wants to put more effort to make Christmas a joyful time for our babies.

Bey and I sit down. I bring her feet onto my lap and massage them for her. She sighs, feeling some relief.

She drinks some hot chocolate. Things couldn't get any better.

I didn't even notice that Jazz had left until she comes back with all of her little dolls and places them in the cars of the train. Soon, the passengers are Polly pockets and lol dolls and Lego men.

She turns the train on again and claps amused with herself.

That was actually very smart.

At Bey's dad's house he has a nativity scene that looks realistic that he made himself, and he let Jazmine put her dolls in there and her ponies. It was so sweet and funny. Imagine a realistic nativity scene and suddenly notice a bright pink pony with tinsel for hair.

Jazmine then begins to play with her toys on the floor imagining whatever world and talking to herself and laughing.

"Can't wait for our girls to play together and meet eachother." Beyoncé says quietly.

I nod.

Being intersex hasn't been very difficult. I mean no one really knew growing up, so no one caused trouble. However at my earliest doctor's appointment it was made clear that I wouldn't be able to procreate on my own. I have one ovary and my one ball works hard apparently.

So to have two children, I am so very grateful. I will never take them for granted at all and I definitely want to raise them both right and treat them well.

I continue to rub Beyoncé's feet and find her crying a bit. I know it's hormones and she's actually okay, but it makes me tear up too.

"You cryin' too? You s'pposed to be comforting me."

We both laugh.

"I love you all."

"We love you too."

"Love you mama and baba."

I smile. It's only a matter of time until the baby's here. Around a few months before Jazz's birthday.

___________

Things won't be nice for long Hee hee

ANYWAYS, what should we name the baby?