Walk With Me 1

32

Nicki

Jazz has been very low energy lately but not sick. All morning, I've been cradling her close to me like a little baby. It's 6 in the morning and Beyoncé wakes up in two hours or so.

I try to tickle her but don't get many laughs from her.

Maybe she's not feeling well.

I hold her close to me, her wrapped up in a blanket and all. Just like when she was a little baby.

She falls asleep, burying her face in my neck.

I sway a bit. I cant wait til my next baby is born. Maybe due in May or so. Beyoncé and I still haven't named her.

I kiss Jazmine's cheek and sit down on the couch.

She's really getting old on me and I can't handle it.

I note that the mailman just got here and I get up to retrieve the mail.

Jazmine is COMPLETELY asleep as I walk inside, outside, and back inside.

I adjust her to hold her with one arm and look at the magazines we've been sent and some mailed notices. I also note an envelope from Robyn.

I roll my eyes but look at what the first few lines behind the plastic say LabCorp. Since I used to watch shows like paternity court with Bey a lot I have a feeling about what's inside. My fingertips are pretty much burning with anger and disdain. This is annoying and old.

I throw it in the trash and go back to cradling my toddler and swaying.

If she's pregnant, congratulations to her, but I am not the other parent. I was completely sober that night and with Jazz the whole time.

I have to go get groceries so Beyoncé won't stress anyways, so me and Robyn will talk in depth, face to face. I'm so anxious that I go ahead and leave Jazmine lying in our bed next to Bey and grab my car keys on the way back downstairs.

____________

I stomp into Ariana and Robyn's house. Beyoncé is home with a cranky, quiet Jazmine.

"Hey." Ariana comes down the steps with her coffee mug.

"Hey, sis."

She hugs me.

"How's my niecy?"

"Jazz is fine. Where is Robyn?"

"In her room."

I move past Ariana and head up the steps. I don't even get to the top of the stairs before Robyn emerges. It sends the wrong kind of chills down my spine.

"Hey."

"Hey. We need to talk."

I sigh.

"Yes?"

"You're pregnant, congrats to you. However that is not my baby, biologically. Stop with the texting, calling and now... letters about it. I was fully sober that night and I was with Jazmine, watching her the whole time."

Robyn just stares at me.

"What did you have that night that you're so... flustered?"

"Couple drinks."

"A couple drinks doesn't basically give you amnesia. Who did you take into that room?"

She shrugs and begins to get slightly emotional. As much as I want to get to the bottom of this, I can't help but comfort crying people.

"C'mere..." I hold Robyn and rub the back of her head.

"I'm not the mother, but I will help you find the dad. Do you remember his haircut?"

"Nothing! I remember nothing!"

"We'll find him."

"I just want answers." Robyn says. "I wish I could remember, but all I can recall is you and waking up next to you."

"Robyn. I put Jazmine to sleep around 10 or 11, you were heard moaning, then you guys finished and I stopped you at the hall because you were about to wake Jazmine up."

"Nick, I'm sorry--"

"Don't be, we'll find the father. You slept with a man right?"

Robyn just shrugs.

"Okay, it'll be okay."

"Don't tell anyone that I'm not sure who is fathering this baby."

"Oh absolutely."

I'm honestly lucky Beyoncé hasn't found out that Robyn was accusing me of sleeping with her.

"Are you taking care of yourself? Prenatals, eating right?"

She nods, "How's Jazz?"

"With Beyoncé."

"How's Bey doing with challs baby?"

I smile at the thought of Bey.

"Great. She loves it."

Robyn gives me a small smile.